From Buddhist to Baptized!

Many of you reading this blog prayed for, and financially supported, me while I was in Thailand. In those ways, you became an active part of the work the Lord did through me while I was there.

Jum is one of the Thai women God gave me the opportunity to build a friendship with while in Bangkok. Even though I'm back in the States now, we're still able to keep in touch. (3 cheers for the internet!) She accepted Christ my last week in Thailand and, on March 30th, I was blessed to be able to skype into her baptism!

[I'm on one of the phones in the crowd!]

Jum has been working on writing out her testimony, and I wanted to share some of it here with you (with her permission, of course). Your faithfulness to give to missions and pray for missionaries and for Thailand has been fruitful! Even though I am state-side, please don't stop investing in the international Great Commission. (If you don't know who to support, you can join me by investing financially in the ministry of The Rossies or Ruth!)

But, back to Jum's testimony, in her words... Be blessed.

It is difficult to start my testimony because it is a long story.  My interest in religion began when I studied in international classes. My friends came from different countries. They were different religions so sometimes we couldn't understand each other well. I believed that the problem came from their culture and their religion. Once I observed my friends from different religions pray I asked why they said the same word "Amen" at the end. They shared about what they believed. 

Then I started to learn English at the BSC. I had chance to meet missionaries and we talked about the history of Christianity, I tried to search the internet about the history and doctrine of this religion. I found a different between Buddhism and Christianity in how they view "Love."  One believes that love makes suffering and the other one believes that love makes peace. Then I want to know more. "How does love make peace?" I started to attend one of their small groups. I learned more about the Bible with the missionaries. 

One of them, Liz, talked about the Holy Spirit is work in the story of Jonah, Jonah went to Nineveh and the people of Nineveh believed God. She said that 'The Bible also it can work by itself when you read it, because of the Holy Spirit." When I started to read,  I didn't want to stop. I almost finished the New Testament in 3 weeks. I still wanted to know more about God. I started to understand and compare the doctrine of Buddha  and Christ. I could see  the different attitudes of Christians (from USA) and Buddhists (from Thailand). For a while, I thought both religion were good, but I must to choose and follow only one of them. It was a difficult time to make a decision....

I accepted Jesus. About 3 weeks later, I began to understand it that God wanted to teach me about the love of God and His grace give the eternal life for us. I couldn’t understand well but I still search the answer by learning from missionaries, reading the Bible and praying... I haven’t done it well now, but I feel happy more than in the past... Thank you my parent and my sister for accept my decision. Thank you Khun Tim, Khun Jill, Ann, Meleah, P’Pom, Jai, Liz, Luke, Dylan, Alli and Matt for telling the Gospel to me. Thank you brothers and sisters at church for helping me didn’t feel lonely when I choose to follow Christ and I think this is important for new believers for continuing on and growing to the next step of Christianity. 

[Matt and Jum]

praises.

Thank you so much for your prayers regarding Hua Hin, Mae Sot and so many other things, areas, and relationships. I know that God is answering your prayers because He's doing things I haven't prayed about!! I don't want you ever to feel like you don't know how God is working through your prayers for Thailand, so, here it is: more proof that our God answers prayers :)

Hua Hin

- God has been blessing the relationships built at camp... seven people came to our Friday night program at LifePoint! And others have expressed an interest in getting together in the near future.
- Also, while we were at camp, almost every member of our team was able to share some of our stories and the Gospel. We had so many open doors and opportunities. God is good!
- To read more about Hua Hin from Steph's perspective, [click here]

[Chula friends at LifePoint's "Fear Factor/Costume" Night! I'm the blue cartoon: "Doraemon"]

Mae Sot

- From surprise visits to the clinic to drop-in visitors, this trip was chock full of the unexpected. However, God knew ahead of time exactly what would happen in the three days we were there, and His timing is perfect! (For example: Steph and I being there to help teach classes, freed up teachers who needed to make clinic visits.) From the supplies we brought, to the lessons we taught, God was there.
- And, the lovely Karen children all have nice new pens, compliments of Spotswood (the team brought them during their 2012 trip).
- To read more about our trip, you can check out Steph's post [click here]

[Thailand, and across the river, Burma/Myanmar]

LifePoint

- God is continuing to bring new people through our doors and grant us favor in building relationships. Every week we have new people stopping in for English classes, our Friday programs and Comm110 English classes. It's not about the numbers; it's about being responsible with the people God has placed in our lives. While we never do it as perfectly as we wish... God has been busy producing fruit in the mean time. So, to Him alone be the glory!

[Comm110 ministry] 

[Unite: BKK "Engineering Night"]

Odds and Ends

- God continues to give me opportunities to love and serve through tutoring and relationships outside of the class and the church. While I haven't arrived (not even close!), it's encouraging and exciting to spend time with people outside of "events" and "schedules".

- God is also keeping us safe, even when we forget to pray for safety! We've been traveling a lot, with plenty of opportunities for things to go wrong... but God has kept us safe (even from a little moto- incident that occurred while Steph and I were crossing the street). 

- In small group, I have been keeping track of everyone's prayer request... and so far God has answered all but one (which is still TBD). What a wonderful testimony to the personal and involved nature of our God.

[Some of the lovely women I tutor weekly]

[Visiting some ruins in the old capital city of Thailand]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for all of your fearless prayers. They are being heard, and they are being answered-- for our good and the Father's glory!

joyful.

A little over seven weeks ago, God planted in my heart a desire to start a small group... and now I can't imagine my time here without them. What started off as me, a friend and a student, has become six (& counting!).

[L-R: Joom, Aey, Thep and I]

I love our pocket of time together on Sunday nights. It feels like home. We eat; we laugh; we dig deep; we ask questions and we grow. Some of us growing in our relationship with the Lord, some growing in their knowledge of Him, but all of us moving forward together. It's a Thai/English conglomerate with languages bouncing back and forth-- sometimes being translated, other times, not. It's not smooth or slick or "sexy"-- but we all belong. Whoever comes, whatever friends are invited (which has been someone new almost every week!), they are welcome and they are wanted.

[Aom and JJ celebrating Fall with s'mores!]

Some days here are like some days in America. You wonder if you are making a difference or an impact. You wonder if what you are doing is worthy work in service of the One who called you. And for me, Sundays are an affirmation. Week after week God shows me His faithfulness. Whether it's in providing insight into a passage, direction in what to study next, or simply in the combination of people He brings. Leading this small group is different than any I helped lead in America-- in that, as a Christian, I'm usually the minority. And, sometimes it's non-Christians who are inviting and bringing their non-Christian friends! Seriously??! That's all God. He is so good. And He gets 100% of the credit.

For those of you praying and partnering with me, please keep our small group in your prayers. Pray that His Word would be clear, that His Spirit would teach our hearts and make connections like only He can, that community would continue to grow, that conviction of sin would occur and that a deeper knowledge and understanding of our Father's grace and love would prevail!!

(not) my day.

This morning in my quiet time, I was honest with God. I told Him that, in my life right now, I don't feel like I need Him. Hear me out, it's not that I don't need Him, but I feel like there is little in my life that requires faith/big God-appearances. Reading through Acts, you see time after time, the disciples coming through impossible situations and incredible (read: flashy) things being done through them. And when I look at my life, it doesn't feel like things would fall apart if He didn't show up. I can get ready for the day, follow a teaching curriculum, bake some cookies and talk to people "by myself." The problem is, I don't want to be that kind of Christian... only attempting for God what I know I can be successful at in my own effort. I want for God to continually stretch me in my life and in my faith. And that's what I told Him.

And I know God heard me, because promptly after praying, my whole day fell apart. I taught a lesson at Rahab (that I've used multiple times before in other classes... with great success I might add!) and it flopped. Majorly flopped. Worst lesson I've ever taught them. I'm not sure they learned anything and by the end we all had headaches. They didn't understand me, and I couldn't explain things in a way that made sense to them.

After that, I went back to Boly Cafe to make some desserts. Today I was keeping it simple: banana bread. One batch with chocolate chips. One batch with walnuts. Tried and true. Except I forgot to add the egg in my first batch. It's amazing how much of a difference one egg makes. Suffice it to say, banana bread without an egg is basically just warm banana mush (read: disaster).

The Cafe started to get busy, so I offered to help make some of the drinks. My first order was a white chocolate frappe. I added too much milk... making the frappe more of a thick milk than an actual smoothie consistency. My second drink was a standard strawberry smoothie. Good. Nothing complicated. Except I overdid it on the yogurt and mis-read how much water to add. I graciously bowed out of the Cafe after that to return to the kitchen to try a "Take 2" on the bread.

Somewhere among dropping baking ingredients on the floor, sorely failing in all my Thai communication, and overall-across-the-board sucking today... God showed me something.

It's not that I can do oh-so-much without Him or that I need to do bigger and more glamorous things to validate my faith, it's that I need to recognize that He is the One who is giving me success in my endeavors, even the everyday ones. It's another layer to the lesson I posted about last week in "100% God." I'm realizing more and more that the reason I don't think God is doing a lot is only because I'm so busy taking credit for everything.

He's not an auto-pilot God who gets credit for making me, but then I get credit for carrying things out... No, He gets credit for the creation and the process and the outcome*. In my own human effort, the only thing I get credit for is failing and falling short.

But that's not bad news! It just means that every time something works out and goes well, I know Who to give the credit to. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states that, "His power is perfected in our weakness." Perhaps that is because we become more aware of His power when we feel weak (read: when we are not relying on our own strength). So, tomorrow, instead of asking God to do something big and flashy, I'm going to ask Him to remind me to give Him the credit, the thanks, and the glory when He gives me successes in the little moments of my day. It's not that I need Him to be more involved, I just need to realize more acutely how involved He already is.

---
* For instance: When lessons go well in the classroom... it's not because I'm intrinsically a talented teacher, it's because God both made me how I am and was working through me to make my speaking clear and the students understand. For His glory. When I bake something for the Cafe and it turns out and people love it... it's from Him and for His glory. How does a tasty banana-nut muffin bring Him glory? Because the more things we sell, the more money goes to support ministries which help take the Gospel and hope to women in the sex-industry. It's one of God's ways to provide for His people through His people.

100% God.

Every morning for the last few weeks, (except Tuesdays, which I have claimed as a personal "Sabbath") I go to LifePoint for a 4-hour class (MTS: Missions Training School) which covers topics ranging from personality types, conflict resolution, theology, the purpose of missions, worship, Old and New Testament surveys, and prayer to spiritual warfare. Yes, all that, and then some, crammed into two weeks (with four more to go!). My head and heart have been in overload trying to process, internalize and apply the flood of new information... as Pastor David prayed for us last week, God has been "sharpening my mind and softening my heart."

This morning in my quiet time at MTS, I read Acts 12. The two headers are: "Peter's Miraculous Escape From Prison" and "Herod's Death."

Here are the cliff notes:

Peter is in jail for preaching the Gospel... and Herod's planning to have him killed. The church is praying for him. An angel appears in the prison, wakes Peter up, frees him, and escorts him out of the prison to safety. Peter's response is, "Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent His angel and rescued me from Herod's clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating." He then goes to Mary's house and his friends are (understandably) shocked to see him. Peter then described "how the Lord had brought him out of prison." 

Crazy story, right? Here Peter is in shackles, with no ability to free himself, help himself, or do anything... and God rescues him! God sends the angel. God releases his shackles. God (through His angel) leads him out of prison and into safety. All God. And when Peter is released, he has one response: tell people what God did. 

Then there's part two. Herod is delivering a public address to the people and they begin to murmur that, "This is the voice of a god, not of a man." And, instead of giving credit and glory to God (where it was do... because God created Herod with his speaking gifts and abilities), Herod is silent. And, "immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down and he was eaten by worms and died."

What the heck. That is a terrifying mental image. And also a great juxtaposition of two men. One who understood that when God does the work, He gets the glory and one who... didn't.

Through that passage, God reminded me of this:

I was in bondage to sin. I was bound with no hope of escape or release. My verdict had been declared, and it was death. There was nothing to be done, nothing I could do, and nothing the ones I loved could do for me. But God made a way. He sent His Son, to live, die and be resurrected... not because I'm awesome and deserve to be saved, but because through rescuing me from sin, the Father would be glorified. My salvation was a wonderful side effect of Christ's mission: to make much of His Father.

[At the Klong Toey slums. Photo Credit: Brandon Tomlin]

And so I was freed from my shackles and from slavery to sin, and given a new life, new hope and grafted into the family of God. Then, though the Holy Spirit, God gave me the ability to understand the Scriptures. He gave me the knowledge and wisdom I needed to grow in the process of sanctification. He was the One who instructed my heart with the Truth. Then, He gave me a mission to share with others about His greatness, His grace, and His desire for reconciliation... with the end result being: Him creating more worshippers of Himself. He sent me out with His words, to share with people that He made, whose hearts He has been preparing to receive His message. Then, I share His Word with them, and as He promises, it does not return void. He convicts them, instructs them, and woos them to Himself. Then, as they admit their sin and repent and confess Him as Lord... He saves them. Oh, and those spiritual gifts that I'm able to use to build up and encourage my church? God gave them to me. And my talents? Yup, got those from God too. Do you see in this story what I can take credit for? Absolutely nothing. He has done everything.

Doug often mentions that being a pastor is "humiliating" because the words he speaks are not his own, and the work those words do in the lives of people are not his work. At the end of the day, he can take credit for nothing... He can only thank God that he was used, and praise God that He was faithful in pursuing and convicting and redeeming the hearts of His people.

I think it's not just pastors, though, it's all believers. We cannot take credit for anything, because God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, has accomplished it all already! When I get to share with someone about the Gospel... it's not, "Yay me! I had an opportunity to share, and maybe I helped convince them to accept Christ!" Instead, it's, "Wow. God loves this person so much that He put me in their path and gave me the opportunity to share the truth about our Creator with one of His creation.*" My response to sharing the Gospel stops being me patting myself on the back, and instead becomes yet another opportunity and reason to worship God.

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* Loosely quoted from Pastor David

tweet that.

Louie Giglio recently tweeted, "It might be less about 'what' you're doing and more about the character you're letting God shape in you while you do it."

Thank you, Louie, for successfully articulating my last year of growth and lessons into 140 characters or less.

[drop the mic]

So often, so often, we get caught up in the "what" we are doing for God. Is it flashy enough? Spiritual enough? Relevant enough? We believe this lie that we have to get to a certain place or be doing a certain thing to have "meaningful ministry." Or perhaps we believe the lie that if it's hard, it's not where we're "supposed" to be. It's actually relatively easy to sabotage the work that our Father wants to do in us by missing the point: that the work He wants to do is in us.

Yes, God wants us to be obedient. But ultimately, we're going to be usable vessels when we are conformed in His likeness... Which will happen when we allow ourselves to be changed and sanctified and participate in that process.

As long as we're tied to these bones, we're going to struggle. But let's make it a struggle about the "how" and not the "what." Instead of getting our panties in a bunch about where we're serving or what we're doing, let's just do it! Wherever you are, be there. Be a missionary. Be obedient. Use your gifts. And see what God teaches you in the process. It's not about arriving at a perfect place and then being able to serve. It's about serving where God has, in His sovereignty, already placed you.

students.

I know I don't include enough pictures, so this post is making up for that! I wanted to share some glimpses from this term... partly because this is the last week of classes and it's leaving me a bit nostalgic.

Friday Night Life: During the term we have a free weekly program that anyone can attend. We have worship songs, an English game and some kind of English lesson/activity/role-play. Claire has been doing an awesome job with this responsibility as our new "Friday Night Life Coordinator" extraordinaire!

[Role playing "going to the bank." In the front right is Wut, one of Claire and my students!]

[Tar and Geng leading us in worship]

[Aom... always with a big smile on her face! Although, as of a week and a half ago, she no longer is sporting the braces :) ]

[After one of our Friday Night Life programs]

[Claire's students... but they wanted us all to join in the photo]

BMA (Business Course): My twice a week intensive English/Business course. Mondays and Wednesdays from 9:30am-2:30pm I had these lovely students! At our half-way point in the term we were discussing "decision making skills" and I had them discuss and decide what item they wanted me to bring to class. They decided on a cake! Then, on the last day of class they surprised me by taking me out to lunch and gifting me a beautiful framed photo of all of us and a couple scarves. 

[My BMA class this term!]

[The surprise luncheon!]

[They ordered all my favorite foods... and even made sure the fish was headless... the way I like 'em!]

[Me sporting my new scarves! What thoughtful gifts & students!]

Regular Night Class: I always forget to take pictures of my night classes and I hate that! I did remember to photo-document one class this evening, though: my 5pm, Level 5, Tuesday class (which is 4 people if everyone shows up)! Teaching them feels like a large tutoring session. I sit down at the table with them and we have a lot of time for discussion and helping them with specific struggles they are having in English. This class has also adopted my dear friend Brenda as their class pen-pal and have enjoyed writing her a couple letters over the course of the term. Today in class we were talking about talents and hobbies, and when the topic of drawing came up, we had to show off our awesome sketching skills... check out them elephants.

[Nice, Nat, Ploy and I]

Also, in my Level 6 class at 7:00, I used some verses from Proverbs in my lesson on "English Proverbs." After class, one of my students, Jum, asked if she could learn about the Bible since she was a Buddhist! I told her that you cannot be both a Christian and a Buddhist, but that everyone is welcome to come to Church, read the Bible and learn more about Christ (Buddhist or otherwise). I told her that we are not born into Christianity, so every Christian was, at some point, something other than Christian looking into and learning about God... and of course that is okay! I invited her to some of the events at my Church and am praying she comes.

Tutoring: This week is just beginning, but it has already had some really exciting moments. One of the guys I tutor, Sit, started our time asking me about "my religion's leader who just resigned." (He was referencing the Pope.) I told him that I'm not Catholic and gave him a quick summary on Catholics v. Protestants. Which led to discussing religions in America, including a short digression on Mormons. In the past, I've brought up my faith before and been able to share parts of the Gospel with him. As with most Buddhist men, he spent some of his life serving as a monk, but he seemed open to hearing me talk. This time, however, he asked me: "What is the meaning of the cross?" What more of an open door could I want?? I excitedly explained that it was originally a torture device used by the Romans, and was the way that Jesus was crucified... which led me to why His death was significant, his subsequent resurrection and the meaning of all of this to my life. I love every opportunity to share the Gospel, but I love it even more when they are the ones doing the asking! Sit will be applying for a doctorate program either in the States or England, and wants practice speaking... so we talk for 3.5 hours a week. (Which leaves lots of room for deep conversations!) Please pray that the things I share would continue to sink into his heart, and that he would continue to ask questions!

How many lives would your sin cost?

I am currently reading From Buddha to Jesus in preparation for Thailand. (Did you just click that link? Good. Now add it to your Amazon cart!) The author, Steve Cioccolanti, was born in Thailand, and born again in Thailand. He has a unique perspective on what it means to be a Thai Buddhist, and how believers can fruitfully engage discussions with Buddhists in Thailand.

The chapter I read earlier this week was on reincarnation, and how reincarnation is actually "one of the best teachings found outside the Bible." Isn't that a shocking assertion? Karma (synonymous with "sin" or "death") is so weighty that it cannot be paid in one life.  Cioccolanti states that the "fact that you are born, according to Buddha, is proof that you are a sinner" (135). The practical problems that Buddhists run into, though, is that "every time you are born, you sin some more, so you're adding sins to your account. You're in constant deficit... You can try to do good deeds and 'make merit' all your life just to service your karma, but you will never quite win this catch up game. You are trapped inside an endless cycle of sin and suffering" (136).

Cioccolanti then relates this idea of "one life" not being enough to pay for the price of one's karma with the parable that Jesus told in Matthew 18:23-35.

In reading this parable, most of us would surmise that we are the man who owed the 10,000 talents. Our application of the story might end with the lesson that we should forgive others of their debts. That, unfortunately, misses one of the greater lessons of this parable, which is, that we have a terrible debt.

Cioccolanti states that if we were to owe God 1 talent for a single sin, we would owe God 6,000 days (164+ years) of labor's wages (1 talent=60 minas, 1 minas=100 denarii, 1 denarii=day's wages for a day's labor). However, in the parable the man is not guilty of owing 1 talent... but rather 10,000 talents. That is 60 million denarii. That is equal to working a full day of labor 7 days a week, from the day you're born until 100 years old... for 1,644 lifetimes. (And in working 7 days a week, you would violate God's 4th Commandment, thus trying to "pay off" sin by sinning more, and incurring an ever-increasing debt. See how this cycle works?) This truly is a debt we cannot pay, not for ourselves, and certainly not for anyone else.

"What is Jesus saying to us? Exactly what Buddha was teaching. It is impossible for you to rid yourself of sin by your own good works. All you can do is fall at the Master's feet and say, 'Lord, have mercy on me, because I have not enough to pay and am going straight to Hell'" (144).

So where does Jesus come in? How did Jesus' death make "payment" for us? How could he ransom, not just me, but all of mankind from so great a debt?

This is where it gets exciting. Cioccolanti uses an example from business to flesh it out. He poses this question,

How come the CEO makes $200,000 a year while the salesman works just as hard and only makes $40,000 a year? Different positions. The CEO has a higher rank...Because of his position, his time is worth a lot more... And so God said, 'I am going to send the Lord of Heaven Himself.' Hebrews 7:26 says that Jesus is 'Higher than the heavens.' You understand, of course, that the Owner of Heaven is worth far more than Heaven itself. So Heaven and earth did not have enough to pay. But the Lord of Heaven and Earth came down to earth and said, 'With my time, with my life, I will pay for all your sins... In fact, I'll overpay' (147).

Wow.

Jesus could pay for all sin for all mankind at once, because of His great worth.

Pastor Doug has been talking recently about how at the crucifixion, God turned His back on Jesus- and because of that, we don't need to have any fear that He will turn away from us. We have been accepted and forgiven because of Christ's finished work on the Cross. That is cause for worship!

So, how many lives would my sin cost? More than I could ever hope to pay... No amount of "being good," even if that was possible, would make up for my grievous sins against God. So, praise God that He "did not treat me as my sins deserved" (Ps. 103:10) but instead made a way through Jesus Christ for me, an enemy of God (Col 1:21), to be brought near to God and be adopted in his family (Rom 8:14-16).

Disqualified

Why is it that so many of us struggle to share our testimony/faith/the Gospel?

One thing I consistently hear people say is that they don't feel qualified to share the Gospel. And usually this is not meant in a "I'm not educated enough" sort of context. Rather, we allow previous sin or personal insecurities to "disqualify" us from being vocal about our faith. (I use " " marks, because I do not actually believe that the privilege to share the Gospel is earned and it, therefore, cannot be disqualified)

However, while reading through Exodus, I noticed two very interesting parallels between Moses' life and our own (ref: Exodus 4).

(1) After being told his upcoming mission, Moses tells God, "O LORD, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." To which God replies, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." This however, is not enough for Moses. He is so human here. So identifiable.  "But Moses said, 'O LORD, please send someone else to do it.'"

Maybe he had trouble articulating the things he wanted to say. Maybe when he was put on the spot he faltered. Stuttered. Sounded silly. Maybe he felt awkward, insecure and inadequate. We've all been there, right?

(2) Then there was this little blurb between the burning bush and Moses' trek to Egypt:

At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said. So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said “bridegroom of blood,” referring to circumcision.) -Ex. 4:24-26

And then it picks up with Aaron meeting Moses like nothing happened the night before. Isn't that strange? It was an odd read at face value even without going into all the things the footnotes said... But here's what I gathered as being the bottom line:

Moses sinned.

Moses was supposed to circumcise his son (per Gen 17:9-14), and for whatever reason, he was disobedient and didn't.

And this is the man God used as His mouthpiece to Egypt-- the awkward, self-conscious, sinful Moses. Who, also, by the way, was a murderer. This man was sent back to the place (and people) of his greatest failure to announce the onset of their greatest deliverance. God did not disqualify him because of his sin and insecurities, He used him.

I don't think I'll ever fully understand why God loves using broken things so much. Why He delights in those that society overlooks. Why He not only uses the lowly things, and the weak things, and the things which are not... but also, years later, would choose to enter His creation as one of these things.

So, next time you feel insecure and weak and like a sinner... good. You are one. Salvation never depended on our effort or quality, neither does the process of our sanctification. Tullian states that:

"If God has saved you—if he’s given you the faith to believe, and you’re now a Christian; if you’ve transferred trust from your own accomplishments and abilities to Christ’s accomplishment on behalf of sinners—then here’s the good news. In the phraseology of Colossians 1, it’s simply this: You’ve already been qualified, you’ve already been delivered, you’ve already been transferred, you’ve already been redeemed, you’ve already been forgiven.

The everything we need and long for, Paul says, we already possess if we are in Christ. He has already sweepingly secured all that our hearts deeply crave."

Praise God that He uses broken people as His vessels to take the Good News to the world. Don't disqualify yourself from receiving the blessing of being a part of His plan.

1 Cor 1:26-31

"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.'"