This morning in my quiet time, I was honest with God. I told Him that, in my life right now, I don't feel like I need Him. Hear me out, it's not that I don't need Him, but I feel like there is little in my life that requires faith/big God-appearances. Reading through Acts, you see time after time, the disciples coming through impossible situations and incredible (read: flashy) things being done through them. And when I look at my life, it doesn't feel like things would fall apart if He didn't show up. I can get ready for the day, follow a teaching curriculum, bake some cookies and talk to people "by myself." The problem is, I don't want to be that kind of Christian... only attempting for God what I know I can be successful at in my own effort. I want for God to continually stretch me in my life and in my faith. And that's what I told Him.
And I know God heard me, because promptly after praying, my whole day fell apart. I taught a lesson at Rahab (that I've used multiple times before in other classes... with great success I might add!) and it flopped. Majorly flopped. Worst lesson I've ever taught them. I'm not sure they learned anything and by the end we all had headaches. They didn't understand me, and I couldn't explain things in a way that made sense to them.
After that, I went back to Boly Cafe to make some desserts. Today I was keeping it simple: banana bread. One batch with chocolate chips. One batch with walnuts. Tried and true. Except I forgot to add the egg in my first batch. It's amazing how much of a difference one egg makes. Suffice it to say, banana bread without an egg is basically just warm banana mush (read: disaster).
The Cafe started to get busy, so I offered to help make some of the drinks. My first order was a white chocolate frappe. I added too much milk... making the frappe more of a thick milk than an actual smoothie consistency. My second drink was a standard strawberry smoothie. Good. Nothing complicated. Except I overdid it on the yogurt and mis-read how much water to add. I graciously bowed out of the Cafe after that to return to the kitchen to try a "Take 2" on the bread.
Somewhere among dropping baking ingredients on the floor, sorely failing in all my Thai communication, and overall-across-the-board sucking today... God showed me something.
It's not that I can do oh-so-much without Him or that I need to do bigger and more glamorous things to validate my faith, it's that I need to recognize that He is the One who is giving me success in my endeavors, even the everyday ones. It's another layer to the lesson I posted about last week in "100% God." I'm realizing more and more that the reason I don't think God is doing a lot is only because I'm so busy taking credit for everything.
He's not an auto-pilot God who gets credit for making me, but then I get credit for carrying things out... No, He gets credit for the creation and the process and the outcome*. In my own human effort, the only thing I get credit for is failing and falling short.
But that's not bad news! It just means that every time something works out and goes well, I know Who to give the credit to. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states that, "His power is perfected in our weakness." Perhaps that is because we become more aware of His power when we feel weak (read: when we are not relying on our own strength). So, tomorrow, instead of asking God to do something big and flashy, I'm going to ask Him to remind me to give Him the credit, the thanks, and the glory when He gives me successes in the little moments of my day. It's not that I need Him to be more involved, I just need to realize more acutely how involved He already is.
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* For instance: When lessons go well in the classroom... it's not because I'm intrinsically a talented teacher, it's because God both made me how I am and was working through me to make my speaking clear and the students understand. For His glory. When I bake something for the Cafe and it turns out and people love it... it's from Him and for His glory. How does a tasty banana-nut muffin bring Him glory? Because the more things we sell, the more money goes to support ministries which help take the Gospel and hope to women in the sex-industry. It's one of God's ways to provide for His people through His people.
And I know God heard me, because promptly after praying, my whole day fell apart. I taught a lesson at Rahab (that I've used multiple times before in other classes... with great success I might add!) and it flopped. Majorly flopped. Worst lesson I've ever taught them. I'm not sure they learned anything and by the end we all had headaches. They didn't understand me, and I couldn't explain things in a way that made sense to them.
After that, I went back to Boly Cafe to make some desserts. Today I was keeping it simple: banana bread. One batch with chocolate chips. One batch with walnuts. Tried and true. Except I forgot to add the egg in my first batch. It's amazing how much of a difference one egg makes. Suffice it to say, banana bread without an egg is basically just warm banana mush (read: disaster).
The Cafe started to get busy, so I offered to help make some of the drinks. My first order was a white chocolate frappe. I added too much milk... making the frappe more of a thick milk than an actual smoothie consistency. My second drink was a standard strawberry smoothie. Good. Nothing complicated. Except I overdid it on the yogurt and mis-read how much water to add. I graciously bowed out of the Cafe after that to return to the kitchen to try a "Take 2" on the bread.
Somewhere among dropping baking ingredients on the floor, sorely failing in all my Thai communication, and overall-across-the-board sucking today... God showed me something.
It's not that I can do oh-so-much without Him or that I need to do bigger and more glamorous things to validate my faith, it's that I need to recognize that He is the One who is giving me success in my endeavors, even the everyday ones. It's another layer to the lesson I posted about last week in "100% God." I'm realizing more and more that the reason I don't think God is doing a lot is only because I'm so busy taking credit for everything.
He's not an auto-pilot God who gets credit for making me, but then I get credit for carrying things out... No, He gets credit for the creation and the process and the outcome*. In my own human effort, the only thing I get credit for is failing and falling short.
But that's not bad news! It just means that every time something works out and goes well, I know Who to give the credit to. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states that, "His power is perfected in our weakness." Perhaps that is because we become more aware of His power when we feel weak (read: when we are not relying on our own strength). So, tomorrow, instead of asking God to do something big and flashy, I'm going to ask Him to remind me to give Him the credit, the thanks, and the glory when He gives me successes in the little moments of my day. It's not that I need Him to be more involved, I just need to realize more acutely how involved He already is.
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* For instance: When lessons go well in the classroom... it's not because I'm intrinsically a talented teacher, it's because God both made me how I am and was working through me to make my speaking clear and the students understand. For His glory. When I bake something for the Cafe and it turns out and people love it... it's from Him and for His glory. How does a tasty banana-nut muffin bring Him glory? Because the more things we sell, the more money goes to support ministries which help take the Gospel and hope to women in the sex-industry. It's one of God's ways to provide for His people through His people.
Thanks Liz, I needed to hear this too. Very well said my friend. Such a hard lesson to learn sometimes! We really have NO control! Praying for you friend.
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