liminal space.

Liminal space is "a state of ambiguity or disorientation that occurs in the middle stage" between two seasons, or places in life. I think that this middle ground is the hard stuff of transitions... When you are no longer where you are, but not yet where you are going.

As I am wrapping things up here in America, my body can sense change coming... I'm trying to plan and prepare while also being "in the moment" and treasuring these last three days with the people I love. I still have bags to pack and people to see. Monday morning I'll depart with Steph for our long journey back to Bangkok. I think that's why I can't sleep... I don't want to miss anything.

A lot of people have asked where my heart is at, what I'm feeling and processing about returning to Thailand for 6 more months. Am I excited? Am I nervous? Am I sad? I think the emotion that I'm feeling needs a new label, because it's a conglomerate of a great many things.

God is doing incredible things at Spotswood and I have been singularly blessed to have been able to jump back into life here these past few weeks. It's so encouraging to see the new faces and changes that the last year has brought! For this brief window, I've been able to serve and observe... I love that. I have also been able to reconnect with friends and have face-to-face/heart-to-heart conversations that have watered my soul. And yet, as good as those things are, they also make me a little sad to leave because I know more acutely what I am missing.

At the same time, however, I am excited to go back to Thailand. I know that Bangkok is where God has called me for the next six months. I'm excited to help Steph adjust to life/ministry, picking back up with tutoring the girls at Rahab (and meeting some new faces!), serving alongside the dozen college interns coming for Mission Training School at LifePoint, meeting new "family members" at the Community House and teaching classes again! It'll be a busy start to the term, but an exciting one... and I'm looking forward to jumping in and picking up where I left off.

For all of you who have continued to lift me up in prayer, thank you. It has been a crazy-wonderful-whirlwind year... and it's not over! I still very much covet your prayers as I enter into this new chapter, which, though similar, will be a different season with different lessons. I still don't do transitions as smoothly as I wish I did, so please keep me in your prayers as life wraps up here and as God prepares my heart to return to the work He has prepared for me in Thailand. I'm thankful that God is the God of every season... even the weird in-between liminal ones! :)

At risk of being a little sentimental, here are a couple pictures/moments from my time in the US of A.

[My first trip to Chipotle with some of the UMW gals]

[The only thing sweeter than time with grandma is time with grandma at Sweet Frog!]

[Visiting some dear family friends]

[Spending some quality time with one of my college roomies!]

[Hiking Old Rag] 

[Highlight: Every time I got to hang out with this girl.]

[Uhm. I have the cutest niece ever. The end.]

[Catching up with the newest Mrs. Keaton!]

preparations.

It only takes flipping my calendar one page to see my departure day. It's so hard to imagine being back in America... I've started trying to prepare myself now and begin processing what it will be like. But I know regardless of my good intentions, some amount of reverse culture shock is inevitable. I want to pack Thailand in my bags so that I can better explain my year here... So I can show you life here. And yet, I feel that even with limitless kilos, I still would have no way to "bring back" or fully explain everything. This blog is my small effort at communicating culture, missions, and me all in one bundle package, but even this does not capture everything.

After talking with some of the missionaries here about my excitement (and yes, even a few fears) in returning state-side, I wanted to share three things that you can do to help make my time easier! :)

- Ask specific questions. As much as I'd love to answer, "How was Thailand?" over and over... It's hard to encapsulate a year in a few sentences. Use my blog (or conversations we may have had) to help you come up with specific things you'd like to know more about. It takes some of the pressure off me so I don't have to scrounge up ways to summarize so much into so little space.

- Tell me about you! I have been able to keep up with some of you better than others, but overall, I feel a little out of the loop (or out of most loops anyways). As much as Thailand has been eye-opening for me, I still care very much about you, your family and what God has been doing in your life as well. I don't want our conversations to just be about me.   

- Help me plan ahead. I want to fit in seeing and spending quality time with as many of you as I can... Partly because my "final return" in December will be tight on time and near Christmas. (If you want more details, I posted about it here.) If you're family, friend or sponsor, you're on the "I want to see you" list! This past year has not been a "Liz & God Solo Show". You have been an integral part of everything that has happened here through your prayers and financial support. I want to get to share stories with you and answer your questions. A lot of people were involved in sending me, so you can imagine how full my calendar could potentially become. If you'd like to meet up when I return, please let me know ahead of time so that I can plan wisely. (I give you full freedom to initiate and be proactive!)

Any other thoughts/suggestions? For any of you who've had to re-adjust after serving abroad, were there any things that really helped your return? (I know Claire would appreciate your tips as well... she will be returning to America permanently at the beginning of July.)

TESOL

It is strange to be taking a class (and notes!) again. I signed up today for a 50-hour TESOL class through LinguaEdge and just completed Unit 1 (of 40). The goal is to spend 7-10 hours/week working on it. Which, I'll admit, it a little ambitious for me, but in order to complete it by the end of March, I need to be aggressive in completing it. It's part of...

John Lapos' Check-List for Thailand:
(...which happens to be much shorter than my personal "to-do-before-leaving" list)

[ x ] Copy of passport
[ x ] Copy of degree
[ x ] Copy of transcripts
[ x ] Resume
[ ] Research medical evacuation/catastrophy insurance
[ x ] TESOL certification
[ ] Raise support
[ ] Double-check my shots
[ ] BSC application (3 letters of reference)
^ I put the easy things first so I could feel successful :)

It's hard to believe in 4.5 months I could be on a plane to Thailand... for a year. I am praying that God makes a way for me to go and to stay there, and that He would continue to prepare my heart and mind and body for what He will do with me while I am there.