100% God.

Every morning for the last few weeks, (except Tuesdays, which I have claimed as a personal "Sabbath") I go to LifePoint for a 4-hour class (MTS: Missions Training School) which covers topics ranging from personality types, conflict resolution, theology, the purpose of missions, worship, Old and New Testament surveys, and prayer to spiritual warfare. Yes, all that, and then some, crammed into two weeks (with four more to go!). My head and heart have been in overload trying to process, internalize and apply the flood of new information... as Pastor David prayed for us last week, God has been "sharpening my mind and softening my heart."

This morning in my quiet time at MTS, I read Acts 12. The two headers are: "Peter's Miraculous Escape From Prison" and "Herod's Death."

Here are the cliff notes:

Peter is in jail for preaching the Gospel... and Herod's planning to have him killed. The church is praying for him. An angel appears in the prison, wakes Peter up, frees him, and escorts him out of the prison to safety. Peter's response is, "Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent His angel and rescued me from Herod's clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating." He then goes to Mary's house and his friends are (understandably) shocked to see him. Peter then described "how the Lord had brought him out of prison." 

Crazy story, right? Here Peter is in shackles, with no ability to free himself, help himself, or do anything... and God rescues him! God sends the angel. God releases his shackles. God (through His angel) leads him out of prison and into safety. All God. And when Peter is released, he has one response: tell people what God did. 

Then there's part two. Herod is delivering a public address to the people and they begin to murmur that, "This is the voice of a god, not of a man." And, instead of giving credit and glory to God (where it was do... because God created Herod with his speaking gifts and abilities), Herod is silent. And, "immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down and he was eaten by worms and died."

What the heck. That is a terrifying mental image. And also a great juxtaposition of two men. One who understood that when God does the work, He gets the glory and one who... didn't.

Through that passage, God reminded me of this:

I was in bondage to sin. I was bound with no hope of escape or release. My verdict had been declared, and it was death. There was nothing to be done, nothing I could do, and nothing the ones I loved could do for me. But God made a way. He sent His Son, to live, die and be resurrected... not because I'm awesome and deserve to be saved, but because through rescuing me from sin, the Father would be glorified. My salvation was a wonderful side effect of Christ's mission: to make much of His Father.

[At the Klong Toey slums. Photo Credit: Brandon Tomlin]

And so I was freed from my shackles and from slavery to sin, and given a new life, new hope and grafted into the family of God. Then, though the Holy Spirit, God gave me the ability to understand the Scriptures. He gave me the knowledge and wisdom I needed to grow in the process of sanctification. He was the One who instructed my heart with the Truth. Then, He gave me a mission to share with others about His greatness, His grace, and His desire for reconciliation... with the end result being: Him creating more worshippers of Himself. He sent me out with His words, to share with people that He made, whose hearts He has been preparing to receive His message. Then, I share His Word with them, and as He promises, it does not return void. He convicts them, instructs them, and woos them to Himself. Then, as they admit their sin and repent and confess Him as Lord... He saves them. Oh, and those spiritual gifts that I'm able to use to build up and encourage my church? God gave them to me. And my talents? Yup, got those from God too. Do you see in this story what I can take credit for? Absolutely nothing. He has done everything.

Doug often mentions that being a pastor is "humiliating" because the words he speaks are not his own, and the work those words do in the lives of people are not his work. At the end of the day, he can take credit for nothing... He can only thank God that he was used, and praise God that He was faithful in pursuing and convicting and redeeming the hearts of His people.

I think it's not just pastors, though, it's all believers. We cannot take credit for anything, because God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, has accomplished it all already! When I get to share with someone about the Gospel... it's not, "Yay me! I had an opportunity to share, and maybe I helped convince them to accept Christ!" Instead, it's, "Wow. God loves this person so much that He put me in their path and gave me the opportunity to share the truth about our Creator with one of His creation.*" My response to sharing the Gospel stops being me patting myself on the back, and instead becomes yet another opportunity and reason to worship God.

---
* Loosely quoted from Pastor David

easter.

I feel like I'm never going to fall asleep tonight because I am so full of energy and joy at being able to be a part of the plan and work of God. I truly think there is no greater fulfillment than being where God has called you to be and doing His work.

It doesn't always feel like this (see post from a few weeks ago). Some days I'm discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right decisions or if I'm doing the "right thing." But then there are days and weekends like this one... when I remember without any doubt exactly why God has me here.

Where to start with Easter? Church this morning... wow. I'm not sure how to capture the power of having so many nationalities (Thai, American, Chinese, Japanese, Burmese) in so many places spiritually (orphaned and adopted, dead and alive, under the law and under grace) all in the same place on an Easter morning, hearing the same message. This morning was a beautiful reminder that our God is not American. He is the God of all nations! 

David (our Pastor) was faithful, as He is every week, in boldly preaching the Gospel. He taught on 7 proofs of the Resurrection and ended with reiterating the Gospel. I want to share one of the things he said at the end that really struck me. He was talking about what we can give God that He has not already given us. Our life... He gave us that. Our time... He gave us that. Our money... He gave us that. Our hearts... but He gave us those, too. The only thing we can give to God that we did not receive from Him is our sin. Wow. Let that sink in a moment. That's the only thing that we have that we earned for ourselves. And that's the one thing God asks for in exchange for His righteousness, perfection, and forgiveness. For us to hand over the filthy rags of our self-made, hard-earned sin. The message of the cross and tomb, truly is Good News for all who hear!

There were so many other wonderful parts to today that I am having trouble organizing due to my enthusiasm. (I've considered just substituting words and sentences with long strings of exclamation points, but I'm not sure how well that would really communicate what I'm trying to share, haha.) But other highlights include: my friend from Thai class coming to church this Sunday! The High-School Missions Team from LifePoint: Symrna arriving in Bangkok and attending service. Our after-church scavenger hunt / "city orientation" for the team. So fun! (We split the HS team into groups with Thais and farangs and gave them a sampling of different places to go and foods to try. What a blast to get to know both the new team as well as some of our visitors better.) One of my new friends here, Chelsea, summed today up well:

"The Gospel fell upon ears who had never heard it. We worshiped beautifully. The message of truth was shared, food and fellowship followed, as did a scavenger hunt all around Bangkok. Laughing the day away with some of my dearest friends here. Overflowing with thankfulness for the life I've found in Him!"

[A few of the many who went on the "city orientation"! Chelsea, Monica, Jack, Nisa, Hailley and Kathy]

I hope that you and your families had a wonderful Easter celebrating Jesus! From Bangkok to wherever you are living and serving, He is RISEN!

Willingness v. Will

“That delight—in God—is the thing that brings desire in the heart to do good, and desire is beneath everything. If there is no desire to do God’s will, then the doing of God’s will is just outward conformity, and God doesn’t appreciate it at all.

Now desire is more than just willingness. I once worked for the Foreign Missions Fellowship, which is a group of collegiate kids who are considering going to the mission field. You know, every time I would talk to some Christians in college, their big cry about the mission field was, ‘Well you know, I’m willing to go. I’m quite willing to go to the mission field. Very willing to go. Willing. But I need a call from God (or some such thing) because I don’t feel as if I’m sent to the mission field.’ Well, I’m telling you that passive willingness is not desire. I was willing to go to the mission field a long time before I willed to go to the mission field. And it is the desire of the will that God wants.

Desire is the putting of my will into God’s concern. It’s not a passive, sitting back in your easy chair, folding your arms sort of thing, which says, ‘Well, I’m willing, if God would only give me a good swift kick and send me.’ That’s willingness all right. But God doesn’t want willingness, He wants will! He wants your will put behind those desires.”

-Jim Elliot: A Christian Martyr Speaks to You, pg. 25

I recently read this quote and it resonated strongly with my own life. Since I was in 3rd grade I have been saying I want to "do" missions. Or, at least, that I am willing to do them. Granted, missions may look different in 3rd grade than it does for me at 24, but I think that Jim Elliot nailed it. God doesn't want our willingness, He wants will.

For me, missions started small.  It started back at square one, with Pastor Doug asking me what it looked like to "love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind... and love my neighbor as myself." At 20, I wasn't satisfied with my canned answer to that question. At 24, I'm still working it out. I had to re-learn what the Gospel means* and its practical implications in my life. I went from there to loving my family, my classmates, trying to share the Truth of Jesus Christ in those relationships, and letting Him affect certain relationships in my life. After that, it was being a part of GotLife, doing local missions projects and slowly, slowly, being pushed outside of myself and further into the world.

Once I started to grasp what it meant practically to be saved, it started to change everything. Being saved wasn't just a future event (ie: I am saved from Hell) but also something that daily could (and did!) make a difference in my life. I have already been accepted. I have already been forgiven. I have already been adopted. I have already been made righteous. As Michael Kelley says, it's "already, but not yet." I already have these things... but they are not yet fully realized and manifested in my life. But they are there. And they should begin to impact my life and my attitude and behavior.

When we are delighting in God, and desiring what He desires, then that naturally will push us towards missional living. We aren't "going out" because of obligation, but because time with Him is aligning our will with His will. And His will, is for the nations to know Him and worship Him.

Praise the LORD, all you nations;

extol Him, all you peoples."

-Ps. 117:1

 ________
* I highly recommend the book What is the Gospel? which tackles this in a very solid and succinct way. It's one of the books I have referenced most concerning the Gospel... aside from the Bible. :)

Disqualified

Why is it that so many of us struggle to share our testimony/faith/the Gospel?

One thing I consistently hear people say is that they don't feel qualified to share the Gospel. And usually this is not meant in a "I'm not educated enough" sort of context. Rather, we allow previous sin or personal insecurities to "disqualify" us from being vocal about our faith. (I use " " marks, because I do not actually believe that the privilege to share the Gospel is earned and it, therefore, cannot be disqualified)

However, while reading through Exodus, I noticed two very interesting parallels between Moses' life and our own (ref: Exodus 4).

(1) After being told his upcoming mission, Moses tells God, "O LORD, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue." To which God replies, "Who gave man his mouth? Who makes him deaf or mute? Who gives him sight or makes him blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say." This however, is not enough for Moses. He is so human here. So identifiable.  "But Moses said, 'O LORD, please send someone else to do it.'"

Maybe he had trouble articulating the things he wanted to say. Maybe when he was put on the spot he faltered. Stuttered. Sounded silly. Maybe he felt awkward, insecure and inadequate. We've all been there, right?

(2) Then there was this little blurb between the burning bush and Moses' trek to Egypt:

At a lodging place on the way, the LORD met Moses and was about to kill him. But Zipporah took a flint knife, cut off her son’s foreskin and touched Moses’ feet with it. “Surely you are a bridegroom of blood to me,” she said. So the LORD let him alone. (At that time she said “bridegroom of blood,” referring to circumcision.) -Ex. 4:24-26

And then it picks up with Aaron meeting Moses like nothing happened the night before. Isn't that strange? It was an odd read at face value even without going into all the things the footnotes said... But here's what I gathered as being the bottom line:

Moses sinned.

Moses was supposed to circumcise his son (per Gen 17:9-14), and for whatever reason, he was disobedient and didn't.

And this is the man God used as His mouthpiece to Egypt-- the awkward, self-conscious, sinful Moses. Who, also, by the way, was a murderer. This man was sent back to the place (and people) of his greatest failure to announce the onset of their greatest deliverance. God did not disqualify him because of his sin and insecurities, He used him.

I don't think I'll ever fully understand why God loves using broken things so much. Why He delights in those that society overlooks. Why He not only uses the lowly things, and the weak things, and the things which are not... but also, years later, would choose to enter His creation as one of these things.

So, next time you feel insecure and weak and like a sinner... good. You are one. Salvation never depended on our effort or quality, neither does the process of our sanctification. Tullian states that:

"If God has saved you—if he’s given you the faith to believe, and you’re now a Christian; if you’ve transferred trust from your own accomplishments and abilities to Christ’s accomplishment on behalf of sinners—then here’s the good news. In the phraseology of Colossians 1, it’s simply this: You’ve already been qualified, you’ve already been delivered, you’ve already been transferred, you’ve already been redeemed, you’ve already been forgiven.

The everything we need and long for, Paul says, we already possess if we are in Christ. He has already sweepingly secured all that our hearts deeply crave."

Praise God that He uses broken people as His vessels to take the Good News to the world. Don't disqualify yourself from receiving the blessing of being a part of His plan.

1 Cor 1:26-31

"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: 'Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.'"