Thursday, July 25, 2013

(not) my day.

This morning in my quiet time, I was honest with God. I told Him that, in my life right now, I don't feel like I need Him. Hear me out, it's not that I don't need Him, but I feel like there is little in my life that requires faith/big God-appearances. Reading through Acts, you see time after time, the disciples coming through impossible situations and incredible (read: flashy) things being done through them. And when I look at my life, it doesn't feel like things would fall apart if He didn't show up. I can get ready for the day, follow a teaching curriculum, bake some cookies and talk to people "by myself." The problem is, I don't want to be that kind of Christian... only attempting for God what I know I can be successful at in my own effort. I want for God to continually stretch me in my life and in my faith. And that's what I told Him.

And I know God heard me, because promptly after praying, my whole day fell apart. I taught a lesson at Rahab (that I've used multiple times before in other classes... with great success I might add!) and it flopped. Majorly flopped. Worst lesson I've ever taught them. I'm not sure they learned anything and by the end we all had headaches. They didn't understand me, and I couldn't explain things in a way that made sense to them.

After that, I went back to Boly Cafe to make some desserts. Today I was keeping it simple: banana bread. One batch with chocolate chips. One batch with walnuts. Tried and true. Except I forgot to add the egg in my first batch. It's amazing how much of a difference one egg makes. Suffice it to say, banana bread without an egg is basically just warm banana mush (read: disaster).

The Cafe started to get busy, so I offered to help make some of the drinks. My first order was a white chocolate frappe. I added too much milk... making the frappe more of a thick milk than an actual smoothie consistency. My second drink was a standard strawberry smoothie. Good. Nothing complicated. Except I overdid it on the yogurt and mis-read how much water to add. I graciously bowed out of the Cafe after that to return to the kitchen to try a "Take 2" on the bread.

Somewhere among dropping baking ingredients on the floor, sorely failing in all my Thai communication, and overall-across-the-board sucking today... God showed me something.

It's not that I can do oh-so-much without Him or that I need to do bigger and more glamorous things to validate my faith, it's that I need to recognize that He is the One who is giving me success in my endeavors, even the everyday ones. It's another layer to the lesson I posted about last week in "100% God." I'm realizing more and more that the reason I don't think God is doing a lot is only because I'm so busy taking credit for everything.

He's not an auto-pilot God who gets credit for making me, but then I get credit for carrying things out... No, He gets credit for the creation and the process and the outcome*. In my own human effort, the only thing I get credit for is failing and falling short.

But that's not bad news! It just means that every time something works out and goes well, I know Who to give the credit to. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states that, "His power is perfected in our weakness." Perhaps that is because we become more aware of His power when we feel weak (read: when we are not relying on our own strength). So, tomorrow, instead of asking God to do something big and flashy, I'm going to ask Him to remind me to give Him the credit, the thanks, and the glory when He gives me successes in the little moments of my day. It's not that I need Him to be more involved, I just need to realize more acutely how involved He already is.

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* For instance: When lessons go well in the classroom... it's not because I'm intrinsically a talented teacher, it's because God both made me how I am and was working through me to make my speaking clear and the students understand. For His glory. When I bake something for the Cafe and it turns out and people love it... it's from Him and for His glory. How does a tasty banana-nut muffin bring Him glory? Because the more things we sell, the more money goes to support ministries which help take the Gospel and hope to women in the sex-industry. It's one of God's ways to provide for His people through His people.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

100% God.

Every morning for the last few weeks, (except Tuesdays, which I have claimed as a personal "Sabbath") I go to LifePoint for a 4-hour class (MTS: Missions Training School) which covers topics ranging from personality types, conflict resolution, theology, the purpose of missions, worship, Old and New Testament surveys, and prayer to spiritual warfare. Yes, all that, and then some, crammed into two weeks (with four more to go!). My head and heart have been in overload trying to process, internalize and apply the flood of new information... as Pastor David prayed for us last week, God has been "sharpening my mind and softening my heart."

This morning in my quiet time at MTS, I read Acts 12. The two headers are: "Peter's Miraculous Escape From Prison" and "Herod's Death."

Here are the cliff notes:
Peter is in jail for preaching the Gospel... and Herod's planning to have him killed. The church is praying for him. An angel appears in the prison, wakes Peter up, frees him, and escorts him out of the prison to safety. Peter's response is, "Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent His angel and rescued me from Herod's clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating." He then goes to Mary's house and his friends are (understandably) shocked to see him. Peter then described "how the Lord had brought him out of prison." 
Crazy story, right? Here Peter is in shackles, with no ability to free himself, help himself, or do anything... and God rescues him! God sends the angel. God releases his shackles. God (through His angel) leads him out of prison and into safety. All God. And when Peter is released, he has one response: tell people what God did. 
Then there's part two. Herod is delivering a public address to the people and they begin to murmur that, "This is the voice of a god, not of a man." And, instead of giving credit and glory to God (where it was do... because God created Herod with his speaking gifts and abilities), Herod is silent. And, "immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down and he was eaten by worms and died."
What the heck. That is a terrifying mental image. And also a great juxtaposition of two men. One who understood that when God does the work, He gets the glory and one who... didn't.

Through that passage, God reminded me of this:

I was in bondage to sin. I was bound with no hope of escape or release. My verdict had been declared, and it was death. There was nothing to be done, nothing I could do, and nothing the ones I loved could do for me. But God made a way. He sent His Son, to live, die and be resurrected... not because I'm awesome and deserve to be saved, but because through rescuing me from sin, the Father would be glorified. My salvation was a wonderful side effect of Christ's mission: to make much of His Father.

[At the Klong Toey slums. Photo Credit: Brandon Tomlin]
And so I was freed from my shackles and from slavery to sin, and given a new life, new hope and grafted into the family of God. Then, though the Holy Spirit, God gave me the ability to understand the Scriptures. He gave me the knowledge and wisdom I needed to grow in the process of sanctification. He was the One who instructed my heart with the Truth. Then, He gave me a mission to share with others about His greatness, His grace, and His desire for reconciliation... with the end result being: Him creating more worshippers of Himself. He sent me out with His words, to share with people that He made, whose hearts He has been preparing to receive His message. Then, I share His Word with them, and as He promises, it does not return void. He convicts them, instructs them, and woos them to Himself. Then, as they admit their sin and repent and confess Him as Lord... He saves them. Oh, and those spiritual gifts that I'm able to use to build up and encourage my church? God gave them to me. And my talents? Yup, got those from God too. Do you see in this story what I can take credit for? Absolutely nothing. He has done everything.

Doug often mentions that being a pastor is "humiliating" because the words he speaks are not his own, and the work those words do in the lives of people are not his work. At the end of the day, he can take credit for nothing... He can only thank God that he was used, and praise God that He was faithful in pursuing and convicting and redeeming the hearts of His people.

I think it's not just pastors, though, it's all believers. We cannot take credit for anything, because God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, has accomplished it all already! When I get to share with someone about the Gospel... it's not, "Yay me! I had an opportunity to share, and maybe I helped convince them to accept Christ!" Instead, it's, "Wow. God loves this person so much that He put me in their path and gave me the opportunity to share the truth about our Creator with one of His creation.*" My response to sharing the Gospel stops being me patting myself on the back, and instead becomes yet another opportunity and reason to worship God.

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* Loosely quoted from Pastor David

Monday, July 15, 2013

heart and soul.

Before I left the States, two of my dear friends asked me to be a guest on their podcast, titled "Heart & Soul," regarding my time in Thailand. I loved getting to share a little of my experience in Bangkok on their show-- but even more than that, I loved having the afternoon to hang out with them, pick their brains, and glean from their wisdom. Their tagline is, "Real faith. Real friends. Real fun." and it couldn't be a more apt description! These women have been such a huge part of my life and I am so blessed to call them friends. Tamra and I worked together at FCS- Stafford for two years, and I got to know Jen through her. They are both truth-speaking, chocolate-loving, laughter-filled women of God! Enjoy!!

To listen to my interview with them, click [here].

[Jen, Tamra and I]
[Tamra and I... Thai style!]
For other podcasts, check out their website: heartandsoulsite.wordpress.com
Or "like" them on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/heartandsoulpodcast
Or follow them on Twitter: @talk2heart_soul

Monday, July 8, 2013

following up!

Last post I ended with some specific prayer requests, and they've all turned into praises this week! So, here is a little follow up so that you can rejoice with us :)
- Jet-lag: Steph and I are both sleeping through the night, and it seems that my brain has returned to it's normal functions (instead of short-circuiting every hour or so). 
- Claire: She's back in America, people! And, on her flight from Germany they didn't end up charging her extra for all her overweight bags (praise!). Believe me, they probably should have, because they were very overweight. 
- Steph: She's still doing well-- she had her first week at House of Blessing this past week, and her classes here at the BSC start tomorrow. I'm sure she'll be posting more about it on her blog in the near future.  
- For logistics: Phones, meetings, paperwork... it all got done (and smoothly to boot)! Yay God!
[Our 4th of July Party at LifePoint! Check out Tiffany's awesome flag-cake!] 
This next six months is off to a big start. Here are some highlights of what has started and what is coming:

The LifePoint college interns arrived last week and have begun MTS (Missions Training School) which I'm joining in on. It's an intensive 6 week program with 4 hours of "school/class" in the morning and then ministry opportunities in the afternoons and evenings. I've been attending the morning sessions and then taking care of my regular ministry responsibilities while the interns do theirs.

[Interns leading activities at Thursday English Classes at LifePoint...] 
[...And building relationships]
Tutoring at Rahab resumed last week (We're meeting on Tuesdays now)! It was so good to see the girls again, and in the last two months we've had 2 new girls join Rahab. It is so exciting to see girls coming out of the bars and into Rahab. Please pray that their hearts will be softened by Christ's love and the Truth. Pray that God's light would shine in Patpong.

Classes at the BSC started tonight for me. I am teaching 12 classes this term (9 regular classes, and 3 tutoring engagements). My Monday classes started off sooo good! We talked about hobbies in my 5:00 class and family trees in my 7:00 class. The students all seemed engaged, talked, asked questions and laughed. I couldn't have asked for more on a first day... or a Monday!

This Thursday, I officially begin  the first of my LifePoint ministry responsibilities. I'll be helping every Thursday with Cafe Boly, the non-profit coffee shop associated with LifePoint: BKK. I say non-profit because all (yes... 100%!) of the profits go to ministries that work to help get women out of sex-trafficking, like: OneLess. And! Cool story: The founders of OneLess are from LifePoint: Smyrna and have committed to come to serve in Thailand for the next 3 years, and are flying here tomorrow! Brittany runs/manages the Cafe, and wants for the Cafe to be ministry both financially and also relationally. So, 6 different LP folks have committed to "adopting" a day at the Cafe, where we will come, sit, and engage the people who come in and invest in the Thais who work there. I also will help bake treats for the bakery! People, pastries and Jesus... what's not to love?

[Celebrating with Leigha on her Sweet 16!)
[L-R: Monica, Me, Steph & Chelsea]
[A few of the LifePoint Ladies!]
Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Steph and I as we seek opportunities to be obedient to the calling God has placed on us... to make much of Christ. We could not do what we are doing without your support and your prayers!