easter.

I feel like I'm never going to fall asleep tonight because I am so full of energy and joy at being able to be a part of the plan and work of God. I truly think there is no greater fulfillment than being where God has called you to be and doing His work.

It doesn't always feel like this (see post from a few weeks ago). Some days I'm discouraged. Sometimes I wonder if I'm making the right decisions or if I'm doing the "right thing." But then there are days and weekends like this one... when I remember without any doubt exactly why God has me here.

Where to start with Easter? Church this morning... wow. I'm not sure how to capture the power of having so many nationalities (Thai, American, Chinese, Japanese, Burmese) in so many places spiritually (orphaned and adopted, dead and alive, under the law and under grace) all in the same place on an Easter morning, hearing the same message. This morning was a beautiful reminder that our God is not American. He is the God of all nations! 

David (our Pastor) was faithful, as He is every week, in boldly preaching the Gospel. He taught on 7 proofs of the Resurrection and ended with reiterating the Gospel. I want to share one of the things he said at the end that really struck me. He was talking about what we can give God that He has not already given us. Our life... He gave us that. Our time... He gave us that. Our money... He gave us that. Our hearts... but He gave us those, too. The only thing we can give to God that we did not receive from Him is our sin. Wow. Let that sink in a moment. That's the only thing that we have that we earned for ourselves. And that's the one thing God asks for in exchange for His righteousness, perfection, and forgiveness. For us to hand over the filthy rags of our self-made, hard-earned sin. The message of the cross and tomb, truly is Good News for all who hear!

There were so many other wonderful parts to today that I am having trouble organizing due to my enthusiasm. (I've considered just substituting words and sentences with long strings of exclamation points, but I'm not sure how well that would really communicate what I'm trying to share, haha.) But other highlights include: my friend from Thai class coming to church this Sunday! The High-School Missions Team from LifePoint: Symrna arriving in Bangkok and attending service. Our after-church scavenger hunt / "city orientation" for the team. So fun! (We split the HS team into groups with Thais and farangs and gave them a sampling of different places to go and foods to try. What a blast to get to know both the new team as well as some of our visitors better.) One of my new friends here, Chelsea, summed today up well:

"The Gospel fell upon ears who had never heard it. We worshiped beautifully. The message of truth was shared, food and fellowship followed, as did a scavenger hunt all around Bangkok. Laughing the day away with some of my dearest friends here. Overflowing with thankfulness for the life I've found in Him!"

[A few of the many who went on the "city orientation"! Chelsea, Monica, Jack, Nisa, Hailley and Kathy]

I hope that you and your families had a wonderful Easter celebrating Jesus! From Bangkok to wherever you are living and serving, He is RISEN!

good friday.

I think that all of last week's stress and fullness was necessary to help me readjust my focus and put my reliance back on God. Why? So that I would be ready for the appointments He made for me this week.

My heart is so full as I write this post. God has been doing incredible things in Bangkok. I have been overwhelmed and in awe of how He keeps bringing certain people back into my life... and giving me open doors to share the Gospel!

Tonight our theme at Friday Night Life (FNL) was Easter. Every part of the evening pointed first to the cross and then to the empty grave. I was able to share with my group about the significance of Christ's death and resurrection. Without Jesus' death, we would be responsible to pay the punishment for all of our sin, all of our bad. The discouraging part is that despite living a life exhausted for that purpose, we are assured that our efforts will always fall short... but God made a way for another option. An option that leads to life, and hope, and freedom. And He offers it freely to all who will ask.

It was so exciting to see how many people came to FNL. Not because numbers matter, but because it meant that more of my friends had opportunities to hear about the most life-changing news... that Jesus loves them and not only desires to have a relationship with them, but made a way to!

Today was also special because when I first came to Thailand in 2011 with Spotswood, I really connected with four people specifically. Of those four, three were at FNL tonight (Champ, Ting and Song)! It was absolutely incredible to get to see and catch up with them... and to have all of us back in the same place where my journey originally started.

From Aug 2011...

[Song is 2nd from the left in the back row]

[Claire and I with Ting]

[Dylan and I with Champ]

From March 2013...

[Claire and I with Ting, Champ, Song and some new friends we've made from this year!]

[Luke, Song, Teem and I after Friday Night Life]

[John Lapos, IMB missionary, BSC liaison, and our
go-to-for-everything man]

follow-up.

I originally promised this post for Friday, extended grace to myself to post by the weekend, then to post by the American weekend... but now it's Tuesday both here and in America and I have no excuses to offer for my tardiness! So, without even further delay, here is my update :)

First, thank you so much for praying for me last week. Both your prayers and the accountability of knowing that you were praying were such a huge encouragement to me. It truly lifts me up when I hear from you all, even if it's just a quick note saying that you have not forgotten me (or to pray for me!) half-way around the world.

God is so amazing. How did He answer your prayers? My Thai test went alright; I was able to move out in time; I also was able to organize my desk in the office (a to-do item that's been hanging over my head for months...) and amidst all the "being productive" I still had more time to read my Bible than I had the week before! But more than that, He gave me peace and settled my heart.  During one of my runs, He orchestrated me listening to a Spotswood podcast that was on the exact topic I needed to hear! I could go on about all the things that God did, but I'd like to share instead from the podcast that I listened to, because it was my "ah-ha!" moment from the week & articulates the lessons I was taught (and have hopefully learned!) particularly well.

If you'd like to listen to the full podcast, you can search for it on iTunes or, click here. Below is my processing of it with a plethora of quotes. (I had to listen to it twice because I couldn't take notes while running!)

ref: Mark 4:35-41

In this podcast, Dr. Drew Landry talks about when the disciples crossed over the sea and the storm hit and how this not only parallels our own lives, but also provides us with an example of how to view and approach the "storms" of our lives.

"God cares enough about us to grow us, to mature us, to prune us... He made a promise that He'd take us to the other side... The storm was just part of the process of getting to the other side."

How often do I view storms as intentional tools that God is both aware of and simultaneously using in my life to grow my trust and faith? Not enough. But that slight change in perspective radically alters how I view these storms.

"Jesus knows when the storms are coming. Am I aware of how God uses the circumstances of my life to enable me to trust Him? ...and submit to Him? It's easy to say we understand the authority of God, but do we submit to it? ...Don't think ever allow pride to move into your life where you think you will put something in front of the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords that He has not already resolved. But here's the other part of that challenge: as you bring that to Him, and He makes it obvious how to submit to His authority, you need to be ready to respond with submission. "

Uhm, yes. The ever present disconnect of what we lip-service-believe and what we actively live-out-believe. My prayer is that God continues to close that gap in my life. He often accomplishes this through storms, making them, unfortunately, necessary.

"Jesus knows when to apply the pressure and how long... We need those [storms] to clarify Jesus as the bedrock of our faith. We need that in our life. The storm was part of the process of learning obedience. What is more beneficial for growing faith and trust? Knowing what's going to happen? Or trusting the Person who has authority over everything in life?"

And yet, it is so easy for me (like the disciples) to turn God's promises into questions... Do you really care? Do you see this? Are you working in this? And yet, as Dr. Drew so perfectly stated, "Knowing sometimes keeps us from trusting." Am I content to not know, but to trust?

"If you want to see what Jesus can do in the storm, you have to be in the storm... When we experience the compassion of God, we learn something about the power of God."

Are you getting this, too? I know I cannot articulate this truth to hearts like the Holy Spirit did to mine... but this is my attempt. The storm is not easy. But because we serve a good God who does care, it also isn't something to dread. Much like fasting, it is hard, but it is also a time of growth and closeness with the Lord. The storm has not caught God off-guard. He knows what you are enduring, He knows how much you can endure and He has a purpose for allowing you to endure it. That is such Good News! If I want to experience the power and compassion of God... If I want to grow in my trust and faith in God... then when the storms come, I need to follow Jesus' example and "rest in the Father."

change.

This week, would you pray specifically for me?

The past few weeks have been taxing. I am back to teaching a full course-load, taking Thai school, preparing to move out of my apartment, preparing to move in to my new room (spelled: p-a-i-n-t-i-n-g), we had two farewells last week for some of our LifePoint family as they return stateside, my to-do list is extensive (and none of it seems easy), I have a test on Wednesday, my room is a wreck and I feel like one, too. I know that everything that's in upheaval now will settle down soon. I know that the to-do list will get done. Maybe the discouragement I'm feeling is just the paint fumes. But despite saying "no" to quite a few things this weekend in order to leave myself some margins, I still feel overwhelmed.

I know that the combination of physical and emotional change is taking its toll on me. And I also know that there is a spiritual component at work as well. Please pray for my heart and my body this week. Specifically, that I will be able to sleep at night (it's been a problem), that my heart would settle down, that I could focus on the opportunities I have this week to spend time with my Thai friends, that God will continue to speak to me as I am in the Word, and that I would be able to pack up and move into my new room by the end of this week.

Thank you so much for lifting me up in your prayers. I'll post again this weekend with an update :)

thai class.

I am so blessed to be able to study another term at Union Language School (Module 3!). This term has been one of my favorites so far. I have 3 classmates, from Korea, Taiwan and Japan... my teacher is Thai and I'm American... so 5 nationalities in one classroom! It's a great opportunity to not only improve my Thai (4 hours a day/5 days a week, how could it not improve?!) but it's also been great to learn more about their cultures as well. As with all classes at ULS, the instructions and all our communication is in Thai (although sometimes I sneak in some English for clarification). My classmates are much more proficient than I am, so often I just get pieces of the conversation, but usually it's enough. I've now finished 7 days of class, and have collected a little list of humorous incidents that I'm sharing for your enjoyment & in-culture-ation. It's a little jaunt through my head, with no real significance and in no particular order... (you've been warned!)

1. Thais think that eating durian while pregnant will make your baby strong. I find this incredibly funny. Maybe you have to have experienced durian to really appreciate this, but the only thing strong about durian is the smell. Phew. 

2. I discovered I'm eye/hand cross-dominate (as in I am right-handed but see from my left eye). Again, this was all being explained in class, but it sounded a little concerning as (from what I gathered) it is unusual. So, after returning home, I promptly googled it and found out it's not a big deal, but it does affect shooting! Which may explain some consistently bad skeet shooting I've done... I also discovered, that you can train your eye to switch dominance on command. Which led to me practicing on the BTS and eventually switching... and then I was freaked out because I couldn't switch it back. None of this is really relevant, but you should try it. For any concerned parties though, after I went to bed, my eyes reset to normal. No harm done.

3. I haven't snopes.com'd this, but supposedly furbies were originally a Japanese creation/idea and they weren't popular, so they sold the patent to America. You know what happened from there... In Thai news, a Thai celebrity recently posted a photo of herself on Instagram with a furby, and now they are making a comeback in Thailand... at 3-5,000B a furby. That's around $100-150. (See the range of things we talk about in class?)

4. Today's lesson on gifting: In Thailand, you never gift any sharp objects: knives, nail clippers, hair cutting scissors, regular scissors, anything. Not for weddings, birthdays, or even because you have extra. They're afraid that if you give someone a blade/potential weapon and it's used to hurt someone... then it's on you somehow. Interesting, no?

5. And last, but not least, a little shout out all the times I "puud pit" (speak incorrectly). In general, Thai is built very sensibly. "Tdit" means "close" and "kap" means "with"-- so "tdit kap" means adjacent (close with). "Rot" means car. So "rot tdit" is traffic (cars, close). But it's the tones that'll get you. Dog and mom are really close in Thai, only one tone different... So, I may have told someone once, "He can speak Thai well because his dog had him in Thailand." And by "may" I mean I did... Whoops. Other close words are tiger/shirt, lose/give and time/father. So many mistakes. It's part of learning the language, though. And I'm thankful for gracious classmates and a teacher who is used to figuring out what we really are trying to say!! :)

[month nine]

Somehow it crept up and surprised me. The 13th of the month. My 9 month anniversary in Thailand. If you have been following along with the pictures I've posted on Facebook, you probably think this last month has been one extensive party... from the wrap up of "birthday month", to two baby showers, a going away party and a weekend beach retreat, some of you may be getting your pen out to sign up for missions!

ECB Women's Prayer Retreat at Hua Hin

[photo credit: Molly]

I know it may come as a shocker that missionaries have retreats, birthdays, and babies (well, not every missionary has the latter), but here's your proof! It's true.

Josiah's 2nd Birthday Party... Mickey Mouse style!

[Josiah and his parents: Jen & David McCaman]

I think because international missionaries are sometimes "so far away" it becomes easy to over-spiritualize and elevate the work we do "on the field." I never want to be put on a pedestal or seen as anything more than just a normal person who has been brought back from isolation, sin, and death by God's grace. So, this post is further evidence that "Look! We're normal people just like you!" :)

But, back to baby showers and birthdays (there is a point to this, I promise!). One of the things that my church here does really well, is bringing people along in their celebrating. They use baby showers, birthday and farewell parties as opportunities for outreach and discipleship. In America, baby showers are across-the-board by invitation only. You have to know the expectant mom. Not so here. At every event we've had this month there have been new people who have dropped in or been invited by a mutual friend. Some of whom have never even met the person for which the party is being thrown! Because most of these celebrations occur at church, it gives people a chance to come to church, but more importantly to connect with the Church. For some, these "parties" were just the thing they needed to start building relationships and get connected.

Farewell Party for the Kyle & the Hathcocks

[photo credit: Vann]

Don't get me wrong, LifePoint does have programs to specifically engage the lost... but there is also something so beautiful in simply bringing people along for your celebrations. To allow them to see authentic believers living in community and joy. Serving, not only a country, but also each other. I have no statistics on this, but I imagine this is pretty attractive and winsome to people who are seeking love and purpose.

Robot-themed shower for baby Plunkett!

[photo credit: Brittany]

This is something I want to bring back with me to America. There is very little "privacy" in warm-climate cultures like Thailand... invitations are open for everyone and there is less of a "preferential list" mentality. There are just people. And all are invited. I don't have Luke 14:12-14 completely worked out (okay, or even close to worked out...), but I think this is a good place to start.

"Then Jesus said to his host, 'When you give a luncheon or dinner, do not invite your friends, your brothers or sisters, your relatives, or your rich neighbors; if you do, they may invite you back and so you will be repaid. But when you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.'" 

Happy 9 months! <3.

can't vs. can

There are a plethora of things I can't do... some are for want of trying, while others are simply because I am not qualified by some requirement other than sheer skill. For instance: anything where the pre-requisite is being a man, or being under 5 feet 6 inches, or over 6 feet, or a different ethnicity, or older than a certain age, or younger than a certain age, or ambidextrous, or able to sing the alphabet backwards... I need not apply. And really, none of these things bother me. Except for one.

Last month I was confronted with a ministry opportunity that I was "disqualified" for because I am single. This event catapulted my mind into a lot of reflection. I'm pretty creative, so the more I thought about it, the more extensive my list of "things I can't do because I'm single" grew. Before I realized it, my joy was slowly ebbing away and I started feeling resentful that God would give me gifts and then keep me from using them because of my relational status.

Well. Not long after that, I was able to have some quality sit-still-and-be-quiet time with God at the ECB women's weekend prayer retreat. During that time, God surfaced that the way I had been identifying myself and viewing ministry was in the context of "can't" and "am not": What can't I do? What am I missing? What gifts am I not using how I would like? And He, in His patient graciousness, reminded me of who I am: chosen, called, forgiven, righteous, loved, redeemed, adopted, and sanctified. He also reminded me of the ministries I can be involved with, capacities I can and am serving in, and what singular opportunities He has been able to give me because of my singleness.

He also showed me that this is not a struggle that will end upon getting married. Every person, at every stage of life, has something that, in their eyes, "disqualifies" them from serving either in a way or capacity that they would like. There are parents who want to be more involved in church, but the needs of their young children limit them. Older people who are limited by their health. Younger people limited by their lack of experience. Everyone could come up with some reason why they can't do something, but we also have a choice. We can believe what we feel to be truth, or we can believe what God has revealed to be Truth. That He is sovereign. That He has a purpose. That He is good. That He is for our obedience. To dwell on anything other than this is to follow in the footsteps of Eve, who focused on what was witheld, rather than the abundance which had already been given.

No matter where I am, or what season I am in, God has given me a sphere of influence in which to do ministry. I want to choose to actively recognize what He has given me and how I can use my gifts within the context I'm currently in. Why? Because there is great joy in living and serving within the boundaries He has placed in our lives.

Where you are now is not where you'll be forever. Where you can serve now, is not where you'll be able to serve forever. God operates in seasons. I think the key is learning to maximize and value the season you are in. When this season passes and God opens different doors to serve, love that season, too.

thought.

I have a lot to blog about to catch y'all up on the last few weeks... but this is not that post. My body is recovering from having a little illness/infection fiesta, so I'm not really up for tackling a long detailed post at the moment. But! I did want to share a couple verses I read today. God always knows exactly what I need to hear and be reminded of... And when I get convicted or encouraged, I love to spread it around! :) If you're like me, sometimes you skim Bible verses in blog posts... but I want to encourage you to slow down and take this one in.

Col. 3:12-14

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 

And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

May we be people like this.