wide open spaces.

It's hard to believe that in less than a month I'll be boarding a plane to return to a different land of the red, white and blue. It'll have been a year since I saw many of you. A year. As I've been thinking and trying to prepare my heart for this homecoming, I have a request: give me space.

Give me space to be different. Yes, in most ways I'm still very much the same, but living internationally has and is changing me. I feel like I've changed inside, though I'm not sure how exactly to articulate it... I have met people, had conversations, and watched my world both shrink and grow simultaneously. To steal one of my favorite Thai phrases, I feel "same, same, but different."

Give me space to have matured. I have had to do everything on my own this past year. There's been no hand-holding or coddling. I've had to feel the full brunt of the consequences of my actions, be they good or bad. I feel capable and confident in allowing myself the experience of both messing up and working with God to fix it... that's the place where growth happens.

Give me space to fail and be imperfect. As much as I wish I was returning a perfectly holy and sanctified person completely complete and not lacking in anything... that's not true. Don't put me on a pedestal. Don't expect that I have arrived. Or that I'll never make a bad call or put my foot in my mouth. I'm still very much a work in progress.

Give me space to explain. I'm not always going to have neat and tidy answers for you. As much as some things have been cleared up in my head, as many (if not more) have also been complicated. I'm sorting it out. I'm trying to understand and to process. So be patient with me as I try to answer and communicate my heart with you.

Give me space to just be Liz. As much as Thailand has been a defining part of my life, it's just a piece of who I am... not my sole identity. And while God has used this place and this experience to grow and use me, I am more than just the "Thailand" part of me. Yes, I know I'll have lots of things to share, and yes, I want to talk about Thailand. But know that I'm okay with not always talking about Thailand. I'm okay being "just Liz."