So, my lovely friend and Bangkok sojourner recently sent out her 1st monthly e-update, and I realized just how remiss I've been in posting this past month-and-few-weeks... and not for lack of things happening! The past four weekends have been red-letter weekends! So, this post is dedicated to them.
Weekend 1: On July 13th, Steph and I went to Asiatique to hang out with one of my previous students, Toon. She invited her cousin and sister, and we explored, ate, and went on a fantastic ferris wheel!
Weekend 2: On July 21st, Steph and I braved our way to Koh Larn for a two-day respite from the city and to enjoy our long holiday. We got to see some monkeys, nap on the beach and enjoy some time together catching up (and swimming!) away from our concrete jungle home.
Weekend 3: Then, our third weekend (July 27-28), LifePoint had a church retreat in Amphawa. I'm not exactly sure how they swung it, but for less than $20, we had transportation, meals, and a lovely resort room to sleep in. In addition to being in a beautiful location (near the floating market), it was also a wonderful time to connect with and meet new people! While Buddhists are often hesitant about coming to "church," they will sign up for a "trip" without batting an eye. And so, we ended up having quite a few Buddhists come who, in the process, heard the gospel. One girl heard about Jesus for the first time! We had breakout sessions, regular worship times/sermons and plenty of fellowship time. It was so neat to hear, and be a part of, so many of the Spirit-led conversations that happened that weekend. Praise God for the work He is doing drawing hearts to Himself!! Below are some pictures from our excursions in Amphawa.
Where are we now? Weekend #4? Well, this past weekend I spent in Mae Sot. You can read a little about my time there in my last post. Here are a few teaser photos that didn't make it! You can read the whole post by clicking [here].
I have some exciting news that I'm bursting to share with you all...
Are you ready?
My dear high school friends, Alli and Sandy will be coming to Bangkok at the end of the month!!*
[L-R: Alli and Sandy!]
Here's where you come in:
They have offered to be a blessing to Steph and I, as well as many of the other missionaries here, by muling gifts, treats and care packages over to us! They'll have approximately 100 pounds of free checked baggage that they won't be needing...
SO! After talking to the Mae Sot orphanage, cafe/cooking ministry and fellow missionary friends, Steph and I have compiled a "wish list" of items your international siblings would love to have sent over. If you feel so led... donations can be dropped off in the Encounter building at Spotswood Baptist Church, passed along to my mom (Melanie), or mailed straight to Alli (please contact me for her address).
Once you buy an item on the list, please email me: lizswauger@gmail.com so I can cross it off below!
It'd be nice (mid-priority):
- 1 can of non stick spray olive oil (generic)
- tums: orange cream flavor
- brown sugar
- 2 packs of beef sticks (not spicy) - skittles
- reese's pieces
- 2 bags reeses's unwrapped minis - jolly ranchers
- 2 salt stick deodorants
- 2 cans canned pumpkin
- marshmallows
- honey maid graham crackers
- great value granola bars
- clif bars: white chocolate macadamia nut
- cheese-itz
- Neutrogena grapefruit face wash
- york peppermint patties - cookie dough bites
Now we're asking a lot (low priority):
- mint m&m's - peanut butter m&m's
- m&m's
- mint oreos
- crystal light drink mixers (or generic version)
- bath and body works candles: sweet cinnamon pumpkin
- betty crocker frosting (chocolate and/or vanilla)
- costco salsa: medium or kirkland's salsa: medium
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* They'll be here for a little over a week (Aug 29-Sep 7) to visit me! That's right... one full week of wonderful adventuring, fun, and ministry. As they've had a role in supporting me, it will be fun to get to introduce them to some of my friends here, take them to church, and have them tag-along in my regular life. The BSC has graciously allowed me to off-set the start of my classes for Term 5 so that I will not have to teach the week that they are here. Needless to say, I've already started planning for their arrival!
This past weekend, I had the opportunity to go with the LifePoint interns to Mae Sot, Thailand for a 3 day trip. Because of the continued conflict and minority persecution in Burma (Myanmar), many of the minority groups (including the Karen people: pronounced kuh-WREN) have found safety across the Thai/Burma border in areas like Mae Sot.
The trip there was about 7 hours in the van with a minor delay due to rainy season flooding the Moie River... and road.
[The boat that was being used to shuttle people, motorcycles and food through the waist deep water across the road]
[A truck braving the flooded road]
[An army truck let us jump on back and shuttled us through the water and to our rendezvous point!]
Here's a video of us crossing through the river in the army truck (and the view of the regular truck in front of us)... The water had gone down quite a bit by this point. If you are reading this in an email, you may need to go to the actual post: [click here] in order to view the videos.
While we were at the Shekinah Children's Home (or as they sometimes refer to it: KT camp), we led a day long "VBS-style" kid's camp for all the children... complete with games, songs and crafts! However, the sweetest part of the trip for me, was having the opportunity to encourage a wonderful woman named Zaida who has been serving there for over three years. As someone who has been "on the field" for a little over a year, I know the potential that teams have to either energize or drain the long-term folks. A lot of work goes into being able to host a team, especially a team as large as ours was (11 people)! I wanted for our time to not only be a blessing to the children, but also to her-- because she is the one who will keep on working and serving long after we leave. I loved getting to hear her story and have the opportunity to see the children's home through the eyes of a woman who knows it well.
It can be so easy to jump into a short term project and think you see and understand what is going on... and miss it entirely. It's easy to see the smiling children, accept the hugs, and never think past that. Or to see the dirty walls, the lack of a "proper" kitchen and the mattress-less bunks where the children stay and be moved to "fix" things... without actually stopping to learn and ask the right questions.
[The church/ multi-purpose room/ school]
I definitely am no expert on the plight of the Karen, or even every detail of what takes place here at the KT camp. But, through my conversations with Zaida, I left encouraged. The Lord is working and doing an amazing healing in the lives of many of these children. Most of the children are practical orphans, if not actual orphans. (Because of the conflict, not all of the children know whether or not their parents are still alive.) Some of the children were soldiered. All of them have suffered. And yet: there is still hope in their eyes and smiles on their faces.
In many ministries, the primary need is financial. As much as we'd like that it wasn't this way, money is a necessity. I won't say it's impossible to do the Lord's work without any money, but it sure would be hard. Because of that, I try to always ask ministries that I visit what their needs are. Perhaps so that I can meet that need specifically, but also so that I can raise awareness and share that need with the body of Christ.
So, you can imagine my surprise when Zaida's answer was not money. She said that the ministry's greatest need was long-term people.
[Breakfast time!]
Zaida expressed, with sadness, that she only has two arms for hugging, and it's not enough for the 60+ kids who visit and live at the camp. Here is a woman who is pouring her life into some of the forgotten, and "least of these", and her main desire is not for new buildings or new equipment, but for more people to come to better love the children who are there.
[Some of the girls singing "Jesus Loves Me" in Karen]
Our time at KT camp also coincided with Zaida's 40th birthday and overlapped with her father's visit. As she is from Mexico, her and her father decided to throw a traditional "birthday fiesta" for the children. It consisted of her father serenading her, a couple of candy-filled pinatas, and plenty of cake to go around!
[Zaida and her father's grand entrance... decked out in their Mexican garb]
[Singing a traditional spanish song to his daughter on her birthday]
[The boy's breaking open their pinata!]
However, despite all the learning, information-gathering, and craft-leading... the part that touched my heart the most was getting to spend time with some of the girls. Whether they were teaching me a new game (these kids were game-gurus!) or a new song, they always had plenty of hugs and smiles to share. On the last day, many of them slipped a note into my hand that they had hand-written... As if goodbye's weren't already difficult enough!
[MoMoA and TeeKayPah]
[AePioh and MoMoA]
[AePioh gave MoMoA and I matching braids!]
[MaJee]
Sometimes you meet people who, for better or worse, indelibly mark you. Your life will never be the same because of their presence in it. I know that my time with these girls has opened up my eyes once again and given me a glimpse into a world and a problem and a people that I was blind to before Thursday. I would have told you, of course, that helping refugees was important. I would have even told you that I knew their situation was dire. But after having spent 3 days with children who are, really, in the best situation (living in Thailand, fed, clothed, cared for and loved), and then to drive past the sprawling refugee camps where people are trapped with no livelihood and hope... I see more clearly. Not perfectly, but I have faces where before there were only numbers.
[Sunday morning worshipping with our Karen brothers and sisters]
If you are interested in serving long term (over 2 months) at the Shekinah Children's Home, but have questions... feel free to send me an email at lizswauger@gmail.com. I'd love to share more with you about specifics of my experience there!
This morning in my quiet time, I was honest with God. I told Him that, in my life right now, I don't feel like I need Him. Hear me out, it's not that I don't need Him, but I feel like there is little in my life that requires faith/big God-appearances. Reading through Acts, you see time after time, the disciples coming through impossible situations and incredible (read: flashy) things being done through them. And when I look at my life, it doesn't feel like things would fall apart if He didn't show up. I can get ready for the day, follow a teaching curriculum, bake some cookies and talk to people "by myself." The problem is, I don't want to be that kind of Christian... only attempting for God what I know I can be successful at in my own effort. I want for God to continually stretch me in my life and in my faith. And that's what I told Him.
And I know God heard me, because promptly after praying, my whole day fell apart. I taught a lesson at Rahab (that I've used multiple times before in other classes... with great success I might add!) and it flopped. Majorly flopped. Worst lesson I've ever taught them. I'm not sure they learned anything and by the end we all had headaches. They didn't understand me, and I couldn't explain things in a way that made sense to them.
After that, I went back to Boly Cafe to make some desserts. Today I was keeping it simple: banana bread. One batch with chocolate chips. One batch with walnuts. Tried and true. Except I forgot to add the egg in my first batch. It's amazing how much of a difference one egg makes. Suffice it to say, banana bread without an egg is basically just warm banana mush (read: disaster).
The Cafe started to get busy, so I offered to help make some of the drinks. My first order was a white chocolate frappe. I added too much milk... making the frappe more of a thick milk than an actual smoothie consistency. My second drink was a standard strawberry smoothie. Good. Nothing complicated. Except I overdid it on the yogurt and mis-read how much water to add. I graciously bowed out of the Cafe after that to return to the kitchen to try a "Take 2" on the bread.
Somewhere among dropping baking ingredients on the floor, sorely failing in all my Thai communication, and overall-across-the-board sucking today... God showed me something.
It's not that I can do oh-so-much without Him or that I need to do bigger and more glamorous things to validate my faith, it's that I need to recognize that He is the One who is giving me success in my endeavors, even the everyday ones. It's another layer to the lesson I posted about last week in "100% God." I'm realizing more and more that the reason I don't think God is doing a lot is only because I'm so busy taking credit for everything.
He's not an auto-pilot God who gets credit for making me, but then I get credit for carrying things out... No, He gets credit for the creation and the process and the outcome*. In my own human effort, the only thing I get credit for is failing and falling short.
But that's not bad news! It just means that every time something works out and goes well, I know Who to give the credit to. 2 Corinthians 12:9 states that, "His power is perfected in our weakness." Perhaps that is because we become more aware of His power when we feel weak (read: when we are not relying on our own strength). So, tomorrow, instead of asking God to do something big and flashy, I'm going to ask Him to remind me to give Him the credit, the thanks, and the glory when He gives me successes in the little moments of my day. It's not that I need Him to be more involved, I just need to realize more acutely how involved He already is.
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* For instance: When lessons go well in the classroom... it's not because I'm intrinsically a talented teacher, it's because God both made me how I am and was working through me to make my speaking clear and the students understand. For His glory. When I bake something for the Cafe and it turns out and people love it... it's from Him and for His glory. How does a tasty banana-nut muffin bring Him glory? Because the more things we sell, the more money goes to support ministries which help take the Gospel and hope to women in the sex-industry. It's one of God's ways to provide for His people through His people.
Every morning for the last few weeks, (except Tuesdays, which I have claimed as a personal "Sabbath") I go to LifePoint for a 4-hour class (MTS: Missions Training School) which covers topics ranging from personality types, conflict resolution, theology, the purpose of missions, worship, Old and New Testament surveys, and prayer to spiritual warfare. Yes, all that, and then some, crammed into two weeks (with four more to go!). My head and heart have been in overload trying to process, internalize and apply the flood of new information... as Pastor David prayed for us last week, God has been "sharpening my mind and softening my heart."
This morning in my quiet time at MTS, I read Acts 12. The two headers are: "Peter's Miraculous Escape From Prison" and "Herod's Death."
Here are the cliff notes:
Peter is in jail for preaching the Gospel... and Herod's planning to have him killed. The church is praying for him. An angel appears in the prison, wakes Peter up, frees him, and escorts him out of the prison to safety. Peter's response is, "Now I know without a doubt that the Lord sent His angel and rescued me from Herod's clutches and from everything the Jewish people were anticipating." He then goes to Mary's house and his friends are (understandably) shocked to see him. Peter then described "how the Lord had brought him out of prison."
Crazy story, right? Here Peter is in shackles, with no ability to free himself, help himself, or do anything... and God rescues him! God sends the angel. God releases his shackles. God (through His angel) leads him out of prison and into safety. All God. And when Peter is released, he has one response: tell people what God did.
Then there's part two. Herod is delivering a public address to the people and they begin to murmur that, "This is the voice of a god, not of a man." And, instead of giving credit and glory to God (where it was do... because God created Herod with his speaking gifts and abilities), Herod is silent. And, "immediately, because Herod did not give praise to God, an angel of the Lord struck him down and he was eaten by worms and died."
What the heck. That is a terrifying mental image. And also a great juxtaposition of two men. One who understood that when God does the work, He gets the glory and one who... didn't.
Through that passage, God reminded me of this:
I was in bondage to sin. I was bound with no hope of escape or release. My verdict had been declared, and it was death. There was nothing to be done, nothing I could do, and nothing the ones I loved could do for me. But God made a way. He sent His Son, to live, die and be resurrected... not because I'm awesome and deserve to be saved, but because through rescuing me from sin, the Father would be glorified. My salvation was a wonderful side effect of Christ's mission: to make much of His Father.
And so I was freed from my shackles and from slavery to sin, and given a new life, new hope and grafted into the family of God. Then, though the Holy Spirit, God gave me the ability to understand the Scriptures. He gave me the knowledge and wisdom I needed to grow in the process of sanctification. He was the One who instructed my heart with the Truth. Then, He gave me a mission to share with others about His greatness, His grace, and His desire for reconciliation... with the end result being: Him creating more worshippers of Himself. He sent me out with His words, to share with people that He made, whose hearts He has been preparing to receive His message. Then, I share His Word with them, and as He promises, it does not return void. He convicts them, instructs them, and woos them to Himself. Then, as they admit their sin and repent and confess Him as Lord... He saves them. Oh, and those spiritual gifts that I'm able to use to build up and encourage my church? God gave them to me. And my talents? Yup, got those from God too. Do you see in this story what I can take credit for? Absolutely nothing. He has done everything.
Doug often mentions that being a pastor is "humiliating" because the words he speaks are not his own, and the work those words do in the lives of people are not his work. At the end of the day, he can take credit for nothing... He can only thank God that he was used, and praise God that He was faithful in pursuing and convicting and redeeming the hearts of His people.
I think it's not just pastors, though, it's all believers. We cannot take credit for anything, because God, through Jesus and the Holy Spirit, has accomplished it all already! When I get to share with someone about the Gospel... it's not, "Yay me! I had an opportunity to share, and maybe I helped convince them to accept Christ!" Instead, it's, "Wow. God loves this person so much that He put me in their path and gave me the opportunity to share the truth about our Creator with one of His creation.*" My response to sharing the Gospel stops being me patting myself on the back, and instead becomes yetanother opportunity and reason to worship God.
Before I left the States, two of my dear friends asked me to be a guest on their podcast, titled "Heart & Soul," regarding my time in Thailand. I loved getting to share a little of my experience in Bangkok on their show-- but even more than that, I loved having the afternoon to hang out with them, pick their brains, and glean from their wisdom. Their tagline is, "Real faith. Real friends. Real fun." and it couldn't be a more apt description! These women have been such a huge part of my life and I am so blessed to call them friends. Tamra and I worked together at FCS- Stafford for two years, and I got to know Jen through her. They are both truth-speaking, chocolate-loving, laughter-filled women of God! Enjoy!!
To listen to my interview with them, click [here].
Last post I ended with some specific prayer requests, and they've all turned into praises this week! So, here is a little follow up so that you can rejoice with us :)
- Jet-lag: Steph and I are both sleeping through the night, and it seems that my brain has returned to it's normal functions (instead of short-circuiting every hour or so).
- Claire: She's back in America, people! And, on her flight from Germany they didn't end up charging her extra for all her overweight bags (praise!). Believe me, they probably should have, because they were very overweight.
- Steph: She's still doing well-- she had her first week at House of Blessing this past week, and her classes here at the BSC start tomorrow. I'm sure she'll be posting more about it on her blog in the near future.
- For logistics: Phones, meetings, paperwork... it all got done (and smoothly to boot)! Yay God!
[Our 4th of July Party at LifePoint! Check out Tiffany's awesome flag-cake!]
This next six months is off to a big start. Here are some highlights of what has started and what is coming:
The LifePoint college interns arrived last week and have begun MTS (Missions Training School) which I'm joining in on. It's an intensive 6 week program with 4 hours of "school/class" in the morning and then ministry opportunities in the afternoons and evenings. I've been attending the morning sessions and then taking care of my regular ministry responsibilities while the interns do theirs.
[Interns leading activities at Thursday English Classes at LifePoint...]
[...And building relationships]
Tutoring at Rahab resumed last week (We're meeting on Tuesdays now)! It was so good to see the girls again, and in the last two months we've had 2 new girls join Rahab. It is so exciting to see girls coming out of the bars and into Rahab. Please pray that their hearts will be softened by Christ's love and the Truth. Pray that God's light would shine in Patpong.
Classes at the BSC started tonight for me. I am teaching 12 classes this term (9 regular classes, and 3 tutoring engagements). My Monday classes started off sooo good! We talked about hobbies in my 5:00 class and family trees in my 7:00 class. The students all seemed engaged, talked, asked questions and laughed. I couldn't have asked for more on a first day... or a Monday!
This Thursday, I officially begin the first of my LifePoint ministry responsibilities. I'll be helping every Thursday with Cafe Boly, the non-profit coffee shop associated with LifePoint: BKK. I say non-profit because all (yes... 100%!) of the profits go to ministries that work to help get women out of sex-trafficking, like: OneLess. And! Cool story: The founders of OneLess are from LifePoint: Smyrna and have committed to come to serve in Thailand for the next 3 years, and are flying here tomorrow! Brittany runs/manages the Cafe, and wants for the Cafe to be ministry both financially and also relationally. So, 6 different LP folks have committed to "adopting" a day at the Cafe, where we will come, sit, and engage the people who come in and invest in the Thais who work there. I also will help bake treats for the bakery! People, pastries and Jesus... what's not to love?
[Celebrating with Leigha on her Sweet 16!)
[L-R: Monica, Me, Steph & Chelsea]
[A few of the LifePoint Ladies!]
Thank you so much for your continued prayers for Steph and I as we seek opportunities to be obedient to the calling God has placed on us... to make much of Christ. We could not do what we are doing without your support and your prayers!
Well, I've been in Bangkok 2 full days now... and it feels like I've been back weeks with all that's been crammed into each day! It's quite the juggling act between scrapping up every bit of free time I can with Claire before she leaves, helping orientate Steph, and handling my own responsibilities (unpacking, my annual work permit blood test, laundry, etc.) all while incredibly, incredibly jet lagged. I barely trust myself to write anything at the moment, exhaustion and sleeping meds aren't a recipe for brilliance... but I did want to let everyone know that we made it here safely and are adjusting again to the noises, smells and cuisine of the city :)
I will try to post again this weekend or early next week with more substantial details and stories... and pictures. Claire has been faithfully documenting everything on her camera, so I'll have to find a way to borrow some of her pictures from this week for my blog! Everything feels like a whirlwind at the moment because Claire is leaving on Sunday (she'll be stopping over for a week in Germany to visit her sister on her way back to the US) and will arrive in Dulles on July 7th.
I am so blessed to have had this last year with Claire and am also looking forward to this next 6 months with Steph. I don't know what the rest of this year will hold, but I am confident in this, that He who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion (Phil 1:6).
For all of you who faithfully lift me and my sisters up in prayer, thank you! Here are some specific ways you can be praying for us in the next few days.
Prayer Requests:
- Jet-lag... this is a real thing. I'm currently waffling between feeling like I'm swimming in a fog and/or like I was hit by a bus (and Steph is feeling a little cloudy too). So please pray that our sleep schedules become normal and that our bodies are able to adjust quickly!
- Claire as she is packing and wrapping things up in Bangkok. Pray that God would give her good closure, sweet time with friends, and continue to prepare her heart for the next season He has for her.
- Steph as she is transitioning into life in the big city! There is a lot to learn and absorb, and it can easily become overwhelming. She's been a great sport so far, though :)
- For logistics to be worked out smoothly. Claire and I have to make a trip to Immigration to do some paperwork (I'll be renewing my work permit and Claire will be wrapping things up). Steph is working on getting a new phone as her current phone doesn't have a sim-card and can't be used here. Claire is packing/re-packing and weighing bags. And I need to organize some material for a new-teacher orientation class I'm teaching on Monday!
Liminal space is "a state of ambiguity or disorientation that occurs in the middle stage" between two seasons, or places in life. I think that this middle ground is the hard stuff of transitions... When you are no longer where you are, but not yet where you are going.
As I am wrapping things up here in America, my body can sense change coming... I'm trying to plan and prepare while also being "in the moment" and treasuring these last three days with the people I love. I still have bags to pack and people to see. Monday morning I'll depart with Steph for our long journey back to Bangkok. I think that's why I can't sleep... I don't want to miss anything.
A lot of people have asked where my heart is at, what I'm feeling and processing about returning to Thailand for 6 more months. Am I excited? Am I nervous? Am I sad? I think the emotion that I'm feeling needs a new label, because it's a conglomerate of a great many things.
God is doing incredible things at Spotswood and I have been singularly blessed to have been able to jump back into life here these past few weeks. It's so encouraging to see the new faces and changes that the last year has brought! For this brief window, I've been able to serve and observe... I love that. I have also been able to reconnect with friends and have face-to-face/heart-to-heart conversations that have watered my soul. And yet, as good as those things are, they also make me a little sad to leave because I know more acutely what I am missing.
At the same time, however, I am excited to go back to Thailand. I know that Bangkok is where God has called me for the next six months. I'm excited to help Steph adjust to life/ministry, picking back up with tutoring the girls at Rahab (and meeting some new faces!), serving alongside the dozen college interns coming for Mission Training School at LifePoint, meeting new "family members" at the Community House and teaching classes again! It'll be a busy start to the term, but an exciting one... and I'm looking forward to jumping in and picking up where I left off.
For all of you who have continued to lift me up in prayer, thank you. It has been a crazy-wonderful-whirlwind year... and it's not over! I still very much covet your prayers as I enter into this new chapter, which, though similar, will be a different season with different lessons. I still don't do transitions as smoothly as I wish I did, so please keep me in your prayers as life wraps up here and as God prepares my heart to return to the work He has prepared for me in Thailand. I'm thankful that God is the God of every season... even the weird in-between liminal ones! :)
At risk of being a little sentimental, here are a couple pictures/moments from my time in the US of A.
[My first trip to Chipotle with some of the UMW gals]
[The only thing sweeter than time with grandma is time with grandma at Sweet Frog!]
[Visiting some dear family friends]
[Spending some quality time with one of my college roomies!]
[Hiking Old Rag]
[Highlight: Every time I got to hang out with this girl.]
I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don't want to shrink back just because something isn't easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can't and I can. Maybe that spot is called I will. -Kristin Armstrong
Except, I would change the ending to read, "Maybe that spot is called faith." Because the last four weeks has shown me, that despite all that God has taught me in the last year, I still feel uncomfortable with a lot of things. I still feel very uncertain about "my future" and "the direction of my life" and "God's specific vocational calling" for me... I still tend to shrink back from hard things (perhaps less than I used to, but I still prefer to shrink...) There are still a plethora of things that intimidate and scare me... as well as countless areas of my life where God is flashing his pruning shears.
And that's okay. That's where faith grows. Faith grows in the rub between where we are and where God wants us. Between how we are and who we were created to be. The fact that I can't answer the most frequently asked question since I returned ("What are you going to do when you return in December?") freaks me out.
This past Sunday at our college big group, Pastor Doug stated that, "When facing trials in this life we must not avoid the sanctification God wants to bring through them." And I'd just like to chime in and add that waiting is a trial. (In the words of The Karate Kid, "Being still and doing nothing are two very different things.") As much as waiting on the Lord and learning to hear His voice through the chaos and distraction of life is a discipline, it is also a huge trial... waiting is a test. A test of our faithfulness in face of the unknown... to see if we will be steadfast: "loyal under stress" (definition Doug's).
There are dozens of unknowns in my life right now... big unknowns. Scary unknowns. And to look at them daily and dwell on them would send me cowering under my covers catatonic. So instead of that (because really, that's no viable option at all), I am trying to remind myself of the truth. And my Dad, being the good Dad that He is, gave me this timely reminder in small group from James 1:
2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
These verses don't say that I should pray to be mature and complete and then whine when it's time to pay the piper (with the price tag reading: trials)... but rather, that I should consider it pure joy because the waiting and the faithing is producing something of value in my life: maturity and completeness. I'm not completely there yet, but it is where I want to be moving towards.
